Feeling okay with it ending

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by ZacharyH, Nov 13, 2015.

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  1. ZacharyH

    ZacharyH New Member

    I guess i'm not truly "okay" with it all ending, otherwise I wouldn't be on this site. The last few days though, I have grown increasingly more okay with this being the last week I have. I think other people around me think I'm doing better, more cheerful, and in one sense I am. I feel as though I am finally putting an end to what has been a truly miserable existence and standing up for myself and ending it, instead of enduring this suffering, has put my mind and soul at ease.
     
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  2. Leon2

    Leon2 Active Member

    Hi Zac, sounds like you've had a hard time, I can't say things will get better for you if you don't carry out your threat, but I'd like you to stick around and if you can talk a bit about what's happening in your life to want to make this the last week, I'm not exactly on top of the world at the moment but I have had thoughts like yours but I'm still here and willing to listen.
     
  3. ZacharyH

    ZacharyH New Member

    Thanks Leon. I don't think so though bud. I have talked about and truthfully I am sick of doing so. By talking I have simply extended my deadline, which I'm also tired of. Thanks though man, I appreciate you reaching out.
     
  4. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Zachery, I have felt that euphoria, it is a drug, I am sorry to hear that, I am suffering, I'll never try to compare my pain against someone else, I guess it will depend whose measuring? I am sorry that you have had an existence like that! it hurts I know,
    I always wonder when someone does that, what kind of person they are! I feel that they might be something like me, if they were, I would have liked to known them, while I am not so sure they would have felt the same way about me! It's not funny to feel that way
    I think it is sad, I will still be here and they will be gone! Someone that I could have gotten along with, to just be winked out of existence,I wonder what stories they could have told, what experiences they could have shared! I will never find out, I will never know their sense of humor, the funny way they smiled!, the way their eyes twinkled when they laughed! I feel the loss before it happens, I do not know why, i do not know how, inside I feel an emptiness
    Zachary, I have never met you yet, I may never but I do miss you already! I think about all of those possibilities that might happen an then They can never happen. I do not think that you are selfish! I do not think that you are weak! Not one person in here will judge you! That is not the way things in here are done! I believe a life should be lived to the fullest, it is not a philosophy, it is not a point of view. It is not something that i think about, it is something I believe! Zachery, be gentle on yourself, We here care about you,
     
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  5. ZacharyH

    ZacharyH New Member

    It is drug like. It's the best feeling I can remember having. I know that if I make the mistake of letting another day pass, then I'll regret not going out on this high, and I'll be right back to where I was.
     
  6. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    I did say I have felt it more then once? 4 times actually, I am still here! I wonder what that says? It says that once you do it there is no coming back, no do over, no second chance, no room for errors, I worked on ambulances, I have seen results only one success, 12 or 13 not very nice unsuccessful, not one of them were dinner conversations, the odds are not in anyone's favor, I really have to say, you are not making the best of choices! My life has not been what I would call a roaring success but it was better then any of those I saw!
    It is your choice we can not stop you if that is what you want, You have no chance of knowing a nice girl again, I really do hope that you choose life it is the better alternative!
     
  7. laf

    laf Member

    I have a similar feeling. I feel that I am done, but don't really think I want it to end? or do i? So confused!
     
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