So I have said in the past that I stay at a recovery house for alcohol. in my apartment there, i am what is known as a house senior. i don't like being a house senior, but that's the way it has to be for now. Last week I had n argument with one of my housemates. Even though this housemate has been in the program for sevral months, he has not much done much in the way of recovery. On my part, I approached him, upset over what i fet him being arrogant and passive aggressive over cleaning the apartment, which he seems to do every so often if for no other reason than to justify his continued laziness. I'm not explaining all of this right, but I haven't talked to him since last week, mainly because he has a third shift job and I left to spend the weekend at my aunt's house. But now I have to go back. I'm not too worried about having to deal with him.....I think the matter may (or may not) be in the hands of the director's of the program, who have noticed the housemates lack of effort in his recovery as well. But I'm just feeling so burnt out from being there. I want to move out of there soon, but I don't think it's possible. As I said before, I visited my aunt and mother for the weekend. But I feel depressed. My aunt is 92 and while she still gets around okay, i don't know if i am ready to deal with the inevitable. My other has multiple sclerosis. I worry that it will get worse out of the blue someday. I struggle to be close to them and others in my family.....I love them, but there is some resentment that is hard to get into at this time. There is also guilt too. I am 22 months sober and i want to be happy, but with current stuff like my jackass housemate and also just constantly having a hard time letting go of past hurts, I don't think i will ever really be happy. Sorry if none of this made sense.