Feeling overwhelmed again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by riz, Dec 23, 2007.

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  1. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I'm feeling so much heavier.
    It's like I'm dragging my feet again.
    I can't push past it.

    I just found out that I basically failed all of my classes this semester. I was hoping, since I'm thinking of transferring to another college next year, that maybe I could do well. But no. Of course not.

    I'm just feeling hopeless. If I can't get a good education and a good job, what hope do I have? I'm going to end up just like my fucking dead beat dad and have to live on welfare for the rest of my life like my mom. I can't take it. It's really not worth all of the trouble and money.

    Nothing has ever gone well for me. I know that sounds dramatic, but I can feel it.

    It's like my plane crashed in the ocean. :(
    But I survived! :D
    However, I lost my leg. :(
    But I can still manage to tread water! :D
    Then the sharks come. :(

    It just never ends.
    Same shit. Different day.
    My new fucking motto.
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :hug: I'm sorry things aren't going well for you. I don't know how the education system works in the US (I am gathering you are in the US), but could you re-take some exams? If you're struggling with depression or any other illness or there's another reason why you haven't done too well, could you speak to a tutor/teacher and explain? It's best if they're kept in the loop, it may be hard to talk about but at the end of the day you will benefit from it, they'd be more understanding too.

    Just because you failed this semester doesn't mean you won't make anything of your life. It's never too late, and there are plenty of options out there. I highly suggest you speak to a teacher and you can discuss your options together. Don't give up. :hug:
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I know exactly how you feel. Ive graduated college and have a bachelor's degree in biochemistry, but I have no motivation to go do anything anyway, so it is all just a waste of time.

    My parents sound exactly like yours, most of my drive in life came from not wanting to end up like them. And even if I do fail in life, I won't live like them for very long. I refuse to become a wage slave.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear things did not go as you had hoped they would. You may have to explore your options, but all is not lost. You can make a fresh, new start on your classes. Not everyone succeeds the first time around. Have faith in yourself. You can do whatever you set your mind to. :hug:
  5. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    There's a serious reason your on sf. All of us here have been shackled with suicidal thoughts and impulses. We've been hindered by mental illness. You're not alone. Of course, life isn't as smooth for us as we had hoped it to be, so sometimes we need to set new standards and goals. There will always be things to complain about, but only if you let them get in the way.

    There will be colleges that will accept you. If you wanted to transfer to begin with, you weren't happy where you are anyway. So, even if you attend a less competitive college than the one you set your eyes on, there's still a chance you will be happier there than you are now. Plus, from there you can transfer your credits to another college in the future. And by then you may feel you have your life more under control. If you had cruised through Harvard, but you didn't feel in control of your life and were severely depressed, it wouldn't mean much, would it?

    I failed out of college due to severe depression. I missed the last two months of classes last year, had endless suicidal thoughts, slept all day, and avoided everyone all of the time. I e-mailed the dean of the college, concisely explaining what I had been through, and that I wanted a chance to return, and the assistant dean e-mailed me back, giving me a phone number of someone at the college who could assist me and possibly get me back into the institution. But I decided it wasn't the place for me right now anyway, despite its great academics and beautiful campus. I will be going back to college next semester. It's a community college, but it's a new start for me. I will have free time during the day, so I'll be able to work and go to school, and eventually transfer colleges and start planning for my future. I think that with by living through my previous emotionally painful experiences, I can know what to expect and be in more control if I get severely depressed again, rather than letting it ruin my life. I believe you can learn and build on all of your experiences, even the negative ones. I wish you the best of luck. Seriously. PM me anytime.
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