feeling really cheesed off

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shazzer, Jan 12, 2008.

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  1. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Hi
    I thought I would start my own thread probably noone will want to speak to me but thats life I guess. I have suicidal thoughts all the time and have tried on numerous occassions to end my life to no avail. I have and am still oging through hell because of my mums illness and people feel the need to make light of the illness cancer as if its an easy way to die it bloody isn't. I know everyone is entiltled to there own opinions and that fine but to make light of cancer is a joke. I'm stuggling myself enough with things at the moment without people doing that is this what you call support I don't think so maybe I've come to wrong place but I couldn't feel any more crap than I do. I have had depression for a long time and I thought this would be a good and safe place to be but now I'm not sure
    sharon
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Sharon, sorry that your mom is suffering from cancer. I know that cancer is a very serious disease and it claims many people each year. It's also a terrible way to die. I would never want someone to suffer through that. You have to try and be strong, so that you can give your mom the will to survive her illness.
     
  3. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Hi Sharon :smile:

    Sorry to hear about your mums cancer. You're right, it most definitely is not an "easy" disease. Some people are grossly misinformed in that sense. Keep strong, you can make it through this.

    There are still plenty of members on here more than willing to help you cope with what must be a very difficult time. So don't give up, and if you do ever need to rant/scream/shout, you can always PM me.

    Take care,
    Lauren xxx
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sharon, I am sorry to hear about your mom. Watching a parent suffer through an illness, whether it be cancer or any other life threatening disease is definitely not easy. Even the treatment itself is no easy feat. I watched my father battle cancer and I know how I felt as it seemed to steal everything away from him. I have also been through it with several other relatives. Some of which survived, and others which lost the fight. The person with cancer is not the only victim of this horrible disease. Those that care about the person are also deeply affected. You didn't mention much beyond the fact your mom is battling cancer, such as the type or stage it is in. Whatever the circumstances are, I hope both you and she are able to find the support needed to carry you through. I will keep you in my thoughts. :hug:
     
  5. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I want to die this life is pointless I've had enough
     
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sharon, I know how strongly you feel about this. I've read your posts. And it is so wonderful that you are there for your Mom. But it's time for you to let others help you now. You must be so tired and worn out. Get it all out here. Rant scream, whatever you need to do and let the members here try to help you through it. You have been such a strong person for your Mom now let us help you to be strong for you.
     
  7. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Ok I get message you don't want me on here since you banned me from chat simply because I took offense to someone asking if I was fat. I may have called the person some names but for gods sake I can't help it that I'm pissed off about it I have the right to be annoyed or don't I. One rule for them and another for me. Life's sucks maybe I should just go top myself now
    sharon
     
  8. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Everything is going wrong. I can't take it anymore
     
  9. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    wanna tell me a story?
     
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Don't give up hope Sharon. I'm sorry that jerk said that you were fat in the chatroom. It's not the end of the world though. Don't let him get to you.
     
  11. Raven

    Raven Guest

    Cancer is not a disease to be taken lightly, I watched my grandmother die from it for over a year, it was not an easy way to leave this world. Recently a co-worker I knew well died from it, their one week and dead by the end of the next month. You have my deepest and warmest wishes during this time, there is no easy way to help someone going trough this and there are no words that can help I can only wish you strength during this time.

    As for this site I hope you decide to stay, yes I am sure there are people who do not get along, whom we do not agree with however like anyplace filled with people this is bound to happen, if people are asking you if you are fat (I know this is easier said then done) just ignore them for the time being, it is a question they have no business knowing and should know better then to ask.

    I hope you decide to stay, there are people here willing to listen and help with what they can.

    ~Raven
     
  12. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I just want an end to this thing called life. I should off been dead before now I've tried enough times why can't I succeed at the one thing I really want which is to be dead and out of this miserable existence. There's no future for me and no point in carrying on everyone hates me and wants me dead anyway
     
  13. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I want all this to end
     
  14. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey shazz I don't think your Mom falls into the above category. You must be so stressed and tired right now. Try although it seems almost impossible, to take a little time for yourself. You have been so strong for your Mom and she will need you now too. So give yourself a little break. And I'm glad I'm not everyone cuz I don't want you dead.:hug:
     
  15. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Raven
    Sorry to hear about your grandmother and your right its not a easy way to leave this world. I also my grandmother to cancer and a few other relatives along the way. It is not nice watching someone you love suffer so much.
    I think I was so annoyed abuot been asked about been fat because I'm really struggling with bad depression at the moment and have no appetite at all, all I seem to do is drink. But I'm gonna forget about it now and ignore that person from now on. How are you doing
     
  16. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Dave
    Thanks for your kind words I probably over reacted the other day with what was said but I've been struggling with having not a lot of appetite at the moment and think thats why it got to me so much. Anyway I'm gonna forget about it now and hopefully it won't happen again
     
  17. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Itmahanh
    You are so right I am so tired and stressed out its been going on a long time. She's been today for a ct scan and we've got to wait 2 weeks for results the waiting is hell so many things going round in my head it gets too much sometimes.
    I know why mum wouldn't want me dead she's the only one who's bothered and I know I have to be strong for her but its so bloody hard sometimes that killing myself seems like a much better option then at least I wouldn't have to see so suffer she's been through so much 3 major ops and one where she ended up in ITC and nearly died following complications after the op. Sorry can't write no more its bringing bad thoughts back of wanting to do something so I'd better go. How are you doing hope your ok
     
  18. NoOneKnows

    NoOneKnows Member

    Everything you stated about your mom having to struggle and how things are really stressful for her, should make you not want to kill yourself. Your mom is going through a very difficult time and she needs all the happiness and support she could get right now to help her through this. Killing yourself will only add to her suffering, so much that She might not be able to push forward. I know you wouldn;t want your mom to just give up and lose all hope. Its hard but you need to keep yourself together and show her that life isn't over and you will always be there for her.
     
  19. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    My grandfather died from lung cancer and a friend from my temple died of some other form of cancer. They both really suffered from what I could tell. It's really not a good way to go. I just found out that last friday, a teacher collegue of mine, who I liked talking to died of a massive heart attack. He was 58. I've been to so many funerals in my life that sometimes I feel like the Grim Reaper. Please guys, enjoy the lives that you have been given. We really don't know how much longer we have left.
     
  20. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I've decided todays the day I will die. Why carry on living when you don't want to. I'm off to go buy loads of paracetamol and take more than I have before and hope it works. It should do as I've already got kidney failure so the paracetoml should do the job and take me away from this life. I reckon <mod edit: amount> should do the job
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2008
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