feeling really dangerous

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by desperategirl, Jan 20, 2010.

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  1. desperategirl

    desperategirl Active Member

    im feeling really dangerous today....i cant get the carpark out of my head and i think im gonna do it
     
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, Caroline. I hope you don't do it. Did something happen to make things bad today? Would like to tell us a bit about it? Please stay safe.
     
  3. desperategirl

    desperategirl Active Member

    nothings happened as such....been dropping badly since monday and its hit a head today. I did the *sensible* thing and called crisis who've just left, and are coming back later. Still really struggling tho, and it would be so easy just to jump on the bus to the car park
     
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Aww, hun. I've had days like that, too, when I don't really know why I'm so low. I'm glad you did the smart thing and called the crisis team. For the rest of the day, just be gentle with yourself. Make some tea or hot chocolate, rest a bit, maybe go for a walk. But stay safe. Feelings come and go, so ride these bad ones out, 'K? :hug:
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Just checking in to see how you are feeling. Any better?
     
  6. desperategirl

    desperategirl Active Member

    a little, the crisis team doped me up a bit on lorazepam. but the self harming is going a little out of control, im worried ill head for my neck soon. It also doesnt help having a mainline trainline running through the bottom of my street. On the plus side i have a coincidental psych appointment in the morning. so if i can just hold out for that.
     
  7. Robin

    Robin Guest

    The only guaranteed thing about jumping in front of a train is traumatising the driver and making miserable people waiting for their daily commute even more miserable.

    Most people actually survive jumping in front of tubes and trains, not always mind, many more end up losing their arms and legs or any combination thereof. It's really not the best way to ask for help.

    Before you do anything, discuss your needs with a medical professional, preferably someone trained in CBT or the like. If you cannot identify what your needs are you will always react and never plan, if you can't plan your way out of a mental health nightmare you are always going to be in trouble.

    Shrinks, in all their usefullness, in the UK that is, only really want to hear enough to diagnose and medicate, and leave notes for your GP and therapist if you have one.

    I've never called the Samaritans before, never felt the need to get some generic response from some stranger that they care, I know people care I guess to me it's more important that those I l've and care about, many of whom are or have been on this forum, know how I feel just in case anything happens.

    I don't know what crimes you've imagined you've committed in order to explain your suffering, chances are you just got unlucky, unfortunately it happens even to the kindest of souls, of which I know a fair few, I find that serving others can be far harder than physically punishing yourself and even though you have to repeat it just the same as you do cutting your arms up, at least it helps others to smile, if only for a couple of minutes. You reap the rewards in forgetting to hate yourself, if only, once again, for a few minutes, it's also something to be proud of, even if it takes your friends to mention it.
     
  8. desperategirl

    desperategirl Active Member

    If i did it i wouldnt be asking for help....but yeah i understand the driver issue. Im trying to make it as painless as possible for everyone.

    thats why i came up with the car park. Bottom line is, i am not safe today at all. I already nearly hacked my leg and arms off. Im bordering on od-ing.

    oh, i just dont know whats going on anymore
     
  9. Robin

    Robin Guest

    If you want to see evidence for painless suicide whatever you do, do not read the Loved and Lost forum, sounds like you've built a world around yourself that you can cope with, from what I've seen in that forum is heartbreaking.
     
  10. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Please hang in there till tomorrow morning for the appointment. Help is on the way and remember the crisis team is coming back to help too.
    You can PM if you would like, you can talk till your tired and next thing you know if will be time for your appointment!
    Hugs Bambi
     
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