I am not quite sure what is going on with me. My moods are all over the place. I have been taking my new med increase of Sertraline 150mg and I have been more chatty, hyperactive and productive than usual, also spending lots and lots of money. I have blown £5,000 in the space of about 6 months, while I am not currently earning either. I have completely blown all the money in my bank account, savings and I am now eating into my ISA, which is supposed to be my wedding money. My fiance has told me not to worry, that it's only money and we'll have a nice wedding whatever happens but as the money was a gift from my parents, I feel so guilty that I have basically blown it all and have nothing to show for it. I thought that because I hadn't been feeling totally shit, that the med increase might be working, but I just feel so awful today. Today I just feel sad. I went out with my friends last night and I did have a really good time. I was confident, chatty, messing about, loud, you know a usual girls night out. I did have heaps to drink last night and today I am just thinking to myself, why am I two completely different people? My friends wouldn't know the girl who is sad, depressed, self harms, suicidal, moody, irritable, etc. I am also hallucinating today. The dead body is pressing up against the front door again. There is banging upstairs and the ornaments in my lounge keep moving and turning round. Everywhere I look I feel there is someone behind me, watching me. I don't know. I just feel, cack really.