Feeling really edgy

[Butterfly]

Today I saw a CPN for my recent troubles. I had no idea till I received a letter last week that I had been referred. Back in April when I went to A&E with suicidal feelings the mental health assessment nurse decided he thought CBT or some sort of therapy would be ideal for me. Ive been wondering why I hadnt had from the therapy services as I should have been referred back in April. The CPN told me today he therapy service had refused my referral because of a long history of self harming. I am fuming. One because I wouldnt exactly call it a long history more that I hadnt self harmed for years and startwd again but not too regular. I also have to be self harm free for three months before they will accept the referral. Im 6 weeks since I last harmed myself but I have calmed recently but can feel my mood dropping so anything can happen now. So now I have to see a CPN till they decide what to do with me. I likw the CPN i felt a connection with him straight away and told him a lot of things id never told any other health professional. He wants me to change my meds from fluoxetine to sertraline. This is because aswell as major depressive disorder he also thinks ive got generalised anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. He says sertraline helps anxiety issues whereas fluoxetine flares anxiety up. I am very pleased that i have the CPN. But the whole experience today has sent me into overderive. Im buzzing and very unsettled. I feel like I could do something stupid. I feel very impulsive. I feel like I could write an entire assignment today and i dont know if ai should. I cant take my mind of it and i dont know what to do.

 

[kote]

i get highs and lows similar to yourself.
i think when im on a high that finally ive had a break through only then to go on and fall.
i found it important to identify these highs and expect the lows so i can deal with them a lot better.
it is great you have found a health worker you trust and finally will be able to get to the heart of the matter.
just try and find a way to settle from your high and bring yourself down to a settled pace. its important to gain control of your highs and lows.
take care and take it easy!!!

 

[Iain]

I get highs and lows even on the meds. Right now Im about as low as can be.
Perhaps you should write to clear your head. I find that when I write that my mind at least focuses on the writing instead of all the negatives.
Glad to see you are in love
Hang on there