Feeling really low

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by baby loves, Aug 22, 2009.

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  1. baby loves

    baby loves New Member

    I'm very depressed. My boyfriend manipulates me but I can't stay away from him.
    He tries to control me and I know he is doing it but I cannot seem to get away from it.
    He chats up girls using the internet and even is on here chatting up people.
    He has posted that he tried to kill himself on here which he didn't and I know he does it because he is insecure but it really makes me depressed.
    I'm the one who tried to kill myself several times. I've even cut myself but not badly as some people as it made me feel a bit better.
    When confronting him he shouts and bullies me and will not listen to anything I have got to say.
    I have left him lots of times and each time I fall for his sob story and go back to him.
    I feel like I'm crying wolf and I cannot leave anymore then when we are alone he is nasty to me.
    If I go out even round to one of my friend houses to visit he ignores me for hours or days and accuses me of sleeping around.
    I don't know what to do. I've even thought about driving my car off of a cliff.
    Please help as I am worried at what the future may hold and I am completely lost within myself.

    Please please won't a truck just run me over or something bad happen because I haven't got the courage to end it myself.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    You must do what is right for you (I'm talking about leaving him)! Nothing he does afterward will be your fault, regardless of the guilt you may feel.

    Also, I've felt as trapped and manipulated and depressed and sad as you are, even having considered the same method.

    So, if you are sure he will not change, move on and save yourself. I wish you the best.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You need to get away from him. I know it's easier said than done, because I've been there. I kept going back to the same guy for a long time, and he was manipulative and verbally abusive. But finally I walked away from him and never looked back ... changed my phone numbers, email addresses, and that was it. You HAVE to do what's best for you, which is get away from him.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forums. I am sorry to hear your bf is blackmailing you emotionally. As you are aware of what he is doing, maybe call his bluff. You do not need to be subject to this sort of thing. It does not make for a healthy relationship. I hate to see you trapped by it. i am glad you joined us and are able to share. :shake: :hug:
  5. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    welcome 2 sf :hug:
  6. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF Baby loves! :)
    Sorry to hear about the situation with your boyfriend... it really is best to just leave him and cut off all contact. You'll have us until you're over him and even after. I know it's not the same as having someone in real life, but you will meet someone in one month or three months or six months or maybe a year who will treat you the way you deserve.
    You will meet someone better for you. Don't let your boyfriend damage you further.
    Please feel free to PM me anytime. :hug:
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to Sf
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome and im glad you came here for help. Time to say goodbye to this so called boyfriend NOT he is not a friend he is a user manipulater only self interest. If you can just break all ties with him no communication what so ever internet phone anything. Move now while you can and get some support for you. I hope you are seeing a therapist you can open up to. We can only try to get you to see you are important here you are special and you need someone to treat you with respect and dignity you deserve. Keep posting and talking to us and please please try to leave now before it gets worse
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.
  10. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I know how it feels to have a controlling boyfriend. If you ever need to talk you can message me. I hope that everything works out for you.
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome to sf :)
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! I agree with all the others,you need to leave for good.. He is only using you both physically and emotionally..Change your numbers, and change your email..You don't ever want to let a man do this to you!!! There are plenty of nice guys out there.. I think you will find most of them are shy type..Please get out before it turns physical..
  13. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    :hug: xx
  14. Emo_kitty

    Emo_kitty Account Closed

    Welcome to SF
  15. Goldfish

    Goldfish Member

    I know this feeling. Relying on someone who is bad for you and being powerless in the situation. its daunting. my advice is to take control over the smaller things first and build yourself up.
    Each day do something for yourself, just one small thing at least. something that serves you, not him, not your relationship, but you. even if it is small. treat yourself to a bubble bath, go and visit a nice friend, or do one of your favourite things that doesnt involve him. the more you do these little things, the more strength you will build up.
    then you will have a better persective on how to get yourself into a better situation.
  16. baby loves

    baby loves New Member


    Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.

    I'm so so much better now. I've got a new job and people who appreciate me at work. I've got money in my pocket and had a huge breakthrough. My boyfriend allowed me to go clubbing with my friend and didn't accuse me of anything.

    I know it sounds bad that I said 'allowed me' but it is just abit easier to let him go on at me rather than having days of accusations and dirty looks, nasty comments and everything else.

    My boyfriend is an ex-cocaine user. I believe it was over £15000 he spent in one year on it. Coming out of that was hard for him and I tried to be there for him but never seem to be good enough.

    It seems like everything I do is rubbish. So I think I must be rubbish and worthless as NOTHING I do is good enough. I try SO SO SO hard to help please him but feel like I'm wasting my time.
    I will keep soldiering on as I have done for the past 11yrs with him and pray one day he doesn't make me do something silly to myself as I'm an only child and my parents would be devistated.
    Why can't break away from him????? I'm so stupid and fat anf ugly and an idiot.
  17. SirCamel

    SirCamel Well-Known Member

    welcome to the forum
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