Feeling really low.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RaveEdge, Apr 28, 2010.

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  1. RaveEdge

    RaveEdge New Member

    Feeling like crap right now.

    Last night my mom was nagging me about school and I said I was sick of everyone bothering me. When she asked me what that meant, I refused to tell her, but she kept pressing until I admitted that I had dropped out of two of my classes about a month previously to avoid failing them.

    I really regret saying it.

    Oh, of course she said things like "we can work that out" and "not everyone goes through life without failing", but this morning she clearly wasn't thinking that way at all. She was pissed off at me, whined at me for not doing some menial chore I forgot to do, and refused my offer to give her a ride to the bus stop. She almost refused to speak to me altogether.

    This is what really irritates me. People say "oh, it'll be all right" and "we can deal with it" and then the next day they give you more of the crap that you were trying to avoid in the first place. I quit my classes, and she's going to hold that against me forever. That much is obvious.

    On top of that, I'm disappointed that I even confessed to my mother about dropping my classes. I told myself that I would put it off as long as I could so that I wouldn't have to deal with her, but I confessed. God damn it, I blew it.

    I feel so low right now, and my thoughts are all confused. I know I won't commit suicide (I don't have the nerve), but if I had the courage and the means, I'd do it right now.

    There's so much more I'd like to say, but I don't know how to get it all out. I'm trying to say what's on my mind, but all of it won't come out.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Don't worry about your mom she will come around..Shes your mom and she loves you.. Right now she is disappointed..Have you picked up any other classes to replace the ones you dropped?? It might not be a bad idea so you don't get laxidaisical..You didn't do anything wrong.. You knew you weren't going to pass so you took steps to keep your snaity,.. Think about replacing those classes..
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    That is the way parents are. My mom was just like yours. If I dropped a class or came close to failing, she made it know that was not acceptable.

    She just wants you to succeed in school so you can be successful in life. If she came through and hugged you and told you everything was ok... well that would not do you much good. She will come around though, just give her time. After all parents are supposd to love their children unconditionally.
  4. yogurt

    yogurt Active Member

    I did that. I withdrew from two semesters in a row to save my GPA because I wasn't going to any of my classes (really depressed). My parents weren't happy, yet I eventually finished school.

    Your mom's probably worried about you--it's what parents usually do.

    Take care of yourself...and don't be hard on yourself.
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