Feeling like crap right now. Last night my mom was nagging me about school and I said I was sick of everyone bothering me. When she asked me what that meant, I refused to tell her, but she kept pressing until I admitted that I had dropped out of two of my classes about a month previously to avoid failing them. I really regret saying it. Oh, of course she said things like "we can work that out" and "not everyone goes through life without failing", but this morning she clearly wasn't thinking that way at all. She was pissed off at me, whined at me for not doing some menial chore I forgot to do, and refused my offer to give her a ride to the bus stop. She almost refused to speak to me altogether. This is what really irritates me. People say "oh, it'll be all right" and "we can deal with it" and then the next day they give you more of the crap that you were trying to avoid in the first place. I quit my classes, and she's going to hold that against me forever. That much is obvious. On top of that, I'm disappointed that I even confessed to my mother about dropping my classes. I told myself that I would put it off as long as I could so that I wouldn't have to deal with her, but I confessed. God damn it, I blew it. I feel so low right now, and my thoughts are all confused. I know I won't commit suicide (I don't have the nerve), but if I had the courage and the means, I'd do it right now. There's so much more I'd like to say, but I don't know how to get it all out. I'm trying to say what's on my mind, but all of it won't come out.