feeling rejected

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by DarkLordVader, Feb 13, 2013.

  1. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    this topic has been brought up many times, i have once and ive seen other threads, what is the deal with the ppl in the chat rooms? when i am having bad days i get good support, but when i am having a good day and want to share its like nobody wants to talk with me. i find that extremely strange, so do you want me to come here in crisis all the time?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No hun that is what general chat room is for just talking to people i am sorry you feeled ignored hun
  3. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I stay away from the chat room and only use the forum. In the past I have found the people in the chat room to be a very close group - almost like a Highschool clique - unwelcoming of new people.

    It sucks that no one wants to chat with you when you are having a good day. I find its important to keep that good feeling for as long as possible, but people who are having a bad day dont seem to want to be around a happy person. I always make the effort, but if I'm going through a low mood I will sometimes choose not to reply to a happy person until I'm feeling better abour myself. I think maybe its a defensive thing?

    But yeah, happiness and good feelings should be encouraged! Just because we are part of this forum doesnt mean we have to be constantly down.
  4. Matrixcrypt

    Matrixcrypt Active Member

    I only use the forums. I check them almost everyday although I don't post much.
  5. LynnD

    LynnD Well-Known Member

    I feel like that about the chatroom too, that's why I stay away from there. I used to go into there but each time I was I was either ignored or treated rudely (not going into exact descriptions). I would go in there just to chat too, in the "Main Room", where everyone was chatting about some band or something, and I came in and said hello, nobody replied, people just kept typing, then said hello again, and still nobody replied. Then, someone with a "familiar" username came in and everyone greeted that user as soon as that user came in the Main Room! I have found this to be the case with all chatrooms on here, I have tried numerous times to go in and chat with people, but each time, no luck. I like the forums better because at least here, you usually get a reply.
  6. LynnD

    LynnD Well-Known Member

    Same here. I don't check the forums everyday, just messages, and if I have no messages, I sign out.
  7. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. You'd think in a place like this people would be more welcoming, but I'm actually scared of going in there because I have such a short temper lol. It does make me think of the "popular kids in school" and all that.

    We should stage a take-over lol :fencing:
  8. LynnD

    LynnD Well-Known Member

    Want to be friends? lol I sent you a friend request.
  9. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    it still goes on, i still go in and usually the only time i get attention is when i get angry and say something rude.
  10. Lonely83

    Lonely83 Active Member

    I'm glad there are ppl feel the same like me, so I'm not paranoid or sth. I just go there and it is so quiet in the room, but there are ppl in the room, maybe too busy private messaging. You are lucky you got attention when you felt worse, on other site's chat room, I got snubbed and being told off when I need further advice as that person said he needed to help another member, he thought I'd got enough of his attention when I just occupied his time not as half of that "another member" :( While I understood he wanted to help that member, he could have said nicely to me like "wait" or "another time" rather than just tell me right off like I'm some dirt and kick me off, I felt rejected too. Then the next day I went to that chat room again, they were still there among others, still helping with that "another member", like he is the most important and others' problems are just not.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2013
  11. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I have mixed reviews about the chatroom on here.

    When I was a bit more hyper and dynamic (trying multiple conversations, having 3+ private messages going and keeping an eye in the main room), some people would be ok with it, and some people wouldn't. That's understandable because everyone is likely to have down time where happy seeming hyper people would be too much for them to be around at that point.

    Sometimes I'll go in there, and because I'm more often on mobile these days, I have to either hunt around rooms or ask someone because I know there wouldn't be many people register that I might need pointing in the direction of where people are talking.

    I've even gone in there, specifically into TS, and sat there for 10-15 minutes, pending my connection issues, whilst noting that there are people coming in and out of the chat, but no-one pm'd be or came to join me.

    Then there will be other times where I'll be welcomed by 5+ people at once. So am I really part of a click of regular chatters because that happens? Or am I sort of unbalanced because of the ignorance occasionally shown?

    It was hard when I was the 'new kid on the block', but even as the experienced chat user, it's not easy. It's not nice to be ignored or rejected at the best of times, never mind the worst, yet no-ones issues should be deemed more important than anyone else's, and we should all get equality? That doesn't really work in offline situations, and online it is people operated so it has that sense of mirroring reality.

    Yes there have been times I may have seen one or two of you in the chat, and I'm sorry if I've not registered or said hello in return.

    My overall feeling is that if you put enough in you'll get something out. I didn't chat to everyone about just issues or just sharing good days. I found certain topics (political ones particularly) not of interest, but I made the effort to try and help others, whether it was being silly/sensitive/supportive/or just a shoulder to vent on. I used to cause the TS room of people to be moved because I'd be talking non-triggery stuff, but people would still complain about being moved even though they weren't contributing to the discussions in that room to keep it on topic.