Hi. I'm new and just posted in Suicidal thoughts and feelings but my stuff is probably more at home here. I feel so alone and so defeated by it all at the moment and I don't feel I have anyone to turn to. I'm a survivor of CSA, rape and DV and I reported my husband in October for rape over a 10 year period. If I'd known how much it would take from me I would never have done it. He's been on police bail ever since and we are now entering the 9th month of complete nothingness and an expectancy for everything else in my life to just carry on. I've been told the evidence is good and the cps are likely to charge him but once that happens it is likely to be 2 years before it gets to trial. I hurt so much and I regret telling them. My life has turned into a goldfish bowl saga and I feel so exposed. I can't see any light at the end of this particular tunnel. I can't cope with another 2 years + of dealing with all this alone. The thought of waking up tomorrow fills me with fear.