Been working hard to find someone to hang out with on Christmas Day and NYE. I got two invites for Christmas Day but I don't want to go because they feel sorry for me but I probably go to one of them. One of those invites has graciously said that I could hang out with them on NYE but I don't want to be a bother. I'm told I shouldn't feel this way but I feel that they pity me for being alone. I will join SF for the Christmas chat but I spend much of my time here anyway. I just called my sister to hang out NYE but she is working both NYE and NY day so that won't work. Don't know why I'm posting here but I am fearing being alone on this year during the holidays. I know I'm not that suicidal that I would do anything but am very depressed about the situation.