Lately I've been feelin so down. its unbelievable. like, i cant even explain it. cos i jus feel so empty all the time. like nothin matters to me. iv lost all interest in what i used ot be interested in. and nothin seems to appeal to me anymore. all i wanna do is sit there starin into space. it takes all my energy to smile and look happy for my friends... i jus feel like it isnt worth livin this way everyday. i dont seem to be gettin better, only worse. im so unhappy i dnt no what to do. and it seems like not even my best friend understands the mental torment i am goin thru. i really dont no how much longer i can go on like this anymore. it is the worst feelin i have experience in ages. and i dont think its gonna get better. i only see one way out. and right now i want it so bad. i cant even sleep anymore, cos i dream of my best mates suicide, blood and razorblades. im so afraid to sleep. i hate my life. im sorry. i dont no how much longer i can go on existing like this.