"Feeling sorry for yourself."

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Neverhappyalwayssad, May 8, 2009.

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  1. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Ever feel like people don't listen. That they just pass off your feelings as you being sorry for yourself. "Ah, quit feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do somthing" is something I hear alot. From my Dad, from my therapist.

    "Life isn't fair deal with it" - What If I don't want to deal with it?! This whole idea of some one out there is worse off than you is pissing me off. They shouldn't have to go through what they are going through and Damn well I shouldn't have to go through this bullshit that people call a life. "Ah look at your Aunt, she was basically starving herself with being treated for cancer and died"... How Am I suppose to respond to that? Oh shit sorry that happened.... ok that makes everything all better. Since clearly what I'm going through is just a bunch of bullshit I've created to feel sorry for myself........WTF?
  2. canis-lupis

    canis-lupis Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you are having a bad time , it sure doesn't help if people cant understand what we go through on a daily basis , if you feel able to talk then there are people here willing and ready to listen to you .
    fell free to pm me if you need to vent or rant
    :shake: :hug:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Neverhappy,
    I know how you feel. People just don't understand how unmotivated you can be from depression.. Everyone looks at me like get your shit to gether because thats just how life is.. They don't understand how much energy it takes just to keep from harming yourself..
    I spent fourteen years just lying in bed staring at the ceiling wishing myself to death..I couldn't even do something simple like taking a shower..My meds i'm on now have stabalized me to a degree but I still think dailey that I want to die..I'm tired of living this so called life.. I have isolated myself from people going on sixteen years now. I get very little outside stimulation from people..
    I do recommend you get a good therapist, they can help you get a better understanding of what is happening with you..I have been seeing mine for four years and she has me at the point where I get out a little in the mornings, before there are alot of people in the stores..She also has me at the point where I am driving again.. It still freaks me out being in all that traffic but I force myself to do it..I hope you get the help!! Take care!!
  4. DiscoverPeaceOfMind

    DiscoverPeaceOfMind Active Member

    Hi AlwaysHappyNeverSad,

    I had a very similar experience as you....even down to the 'WTF'! They just dont get it.

    But, they are doing the best they can with the limited knowledge they have. If they dont know, they just dont know. At least most have the right intent. They want to help but dont know what to say, so you just get whatever is blurted. Very frustrating.

    Here's something to try...What did you always want from your dad that you never got? Go ask him for it. You will find you've just hit his sore spot.

    Then, Ask him what he wanted from his father (your grandfather) and never got. Betcha it's the same thing. What he never got, he feels uncomfortable to provide. But do it when you've got time, a box of tissues, and he's ok. Make sure YOU are gentle and sincere. It's tough but rewarding if you can get him to talk.

    It's amazing how you can inherit your grandfather's 'stuff'. Note that it's not genetic, its a way of thinking.

    Good luck.
  5. I suffer from this too. No one (wife) cares what I'm going through. she tells me to get my head out of my ass and get over it. She is the #1 cause of my pain. She makes me want to end my life. Everything that goes wrong is "my fault". If not for my kids, and being a Christian, I would have already done it. I just don't know how long I can stand living anymore. My only refuge is coming to work. I hate going home. I say "TGIS" for thank God it's Sunday, so that my work week can begin. I hate my life. I prayed for God to end my life during sleep last night, and once again he failed me. He's a good God for most people I suppose, but he's neglected me. I'm only a Christian out of fear that this "God thing" might be true. I don't love God, I FEAR him. What a great relationship, huh?
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Many people have not gone as far into depression as we have, so they cannot understand. They think their suffering similar to ours and that it can be shook off like perhaps they have. But ours is deeper than that.
  7. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Tell your dad and anyone else this: If I don't feel sorry for myself, who will?
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Wow, never thought of that. Great advice!
  9. dreamachine

    dreamachine Active Member

    yeah, i get this a lot too and i hate it. i dont even bother trying to explain it or ask anyone for help anymore because i know that people are just going say stuff like that.

    also my dad likes to say something like my situation isnt unique and everyone gets this way, but honestly i KNOW my problems are nothing exclusive to me, millions of people have them. that doesnt make me any happier when dealing with them.
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    My Mother actually contributed to my depression by passing it off as teenage nonsense. It was only when I made an attempt on my life in my adult years that she realised how serious it was back then.

    Sometimes I find writing them a letter to explain EXACTLY how you are feeling and that this is not BS this is serious - helps.

    Saying 'life isn't fair - deal with it' has made many people take their own lives because they decided they simply couldn't cope with just how unfair life was. Your Dad is playing down a serious condition as nothing and he needs to be made to realise this.
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