feeling suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mason., Sep 10, 2014.

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  1. mason.

    mason. New Member

    i have read lots of online things and everyone says to talk to someone so here it is no one knows of my suicidal thoughts me and my brother have aspergers everyone looks to me as the one who came out good i have a job lots of money but i am still unhappy i feel so alone everyday i have no friends no girlfriend the problum is i hate people i dunno if this has to do with the aspergers but i always invision people laughing and making fun of me its bieng paranoid of everyone around me and i have grown to hate everyone (except my family) but i feel like so many people are relying on me i hide every emotion and pretend to be normal everyone sees me as a happy go lucky guy never upset or angry i have thought about suicide lots of times only thing holding me back is a fear of hurting my family but everyday i think of ways to do it without possibbly hurting them everyone says to talk im posting this before i think of a good idea cause if i think of a way to do this without hurting anyone around me im doing it and i will not fail im tired of bieng alone i want friends and someone to love but im so scared of people it was hard to post this you guys are the only people who know theres anything wrong
     
  2. whoamiboo

    whoamiboo Active Member

    First of all you are not alone here. There are many of us who have suicidal thoughts daily but also live an active life. Doesn't mean a smile on your face is not an unhappy person inside. You are struggling right now with the demons of suicide. Talking helps especially if people understand where you are coming from. We understand here.
    May I ask do you have a pdoc? If so, are you on any meds to help you fight your thoughts? If not seeking help from a professional would be a great idea. They to can help you with this struggle. Medication can greatly help with this battle also. Keep talking and stay well.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you and wearing a mask for others can be very very tiring. Can you not talk to your parents let them know that youa re sad and that you need some support to lessen the sadness some. Is there no groups you can attend in your area that can help you be more sociable You can talk here no one judges anyone here ok good to see you reaching out for help
     
  4. mason.

    mason. New Member

    my family is going thrugh enough with my brother they dont need more to worry about i dont take anything cause i dont like doctors if theres something off the self i can get that would be good probabbly cant tho and i live in a small town so theres no groups im always scared of people in generial ive tried to go to other social groups but i was scared of them and left and never returned
     
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