feeling suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meme333, Sep 28, 2011.

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  1. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling very suicidal today.
    I just don't see the purpose...I feel defeated.
    Why not?.... is all I can think...so why not?

    Not sure why I'm posting.
    Just wanted to tell I guess :(
     
  2. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    Talking about these feelings does help, especially when you are talking to people who understand. Whatever it is that you are going through, nothing can be more powerful than the power of communication. Talk it out, there are people here to listen, to care and to understand.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun your posting because you want some helphun you don't want to leave. I know sometimes it feels hopeless but there is hope hun hold on okay keep talking to us hugs
     
  4. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    But I don't know what to say and I don't know what I need really.
    All I really need I can't have.
    All I can think is why not?
    I can't shake this today at all.
    I'm so sorry
    I'm afraid of myself today
     
  5. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    We often find that what we fear the most is ourselves. I understand that feeling, I have it all the time.
    Just try to remember, you are not alone. We are all here for a reason, and we can all be here for one another.
     
  6. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    I do feel alone.
    I help people I guess...at least I try.
    Just feel that's all I'm good for.
    In the long run..why am I here?

    I'm so scared I'm going to do something which I guess shows it's not truly what I want but what I feel I have to do.
    Why continue living with all the pain and torment inside. Where do I put it? I have nowhere to put it away?
    I don't get touched...nobody touches me unless they are going to hurt me.
    It's a basic need and I feel so starved right now
     
  7. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    Don't feel bad just because no ones cuddling with you. It's sex and companionship that you want, I'm guessing? You'll get that eventually. Everyone does. There are billions of people out there and I doubt that you won't find one who'll love you for who you are. You've got to give it time, you've got to keep positive and happy, and you have to love yourself.
     
  8. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    not so much sex...no, that's not it.
    it's companionship....touch...caring touch that's all.
    someone who would care if they didn't see me for awhile.
    someone looking out for me, wanting the best..I don't know.
    People say I have to care for myself first but it's not that easy.
    It's hard to find reasons to care for yourself if you have nobody to share yourself with.
     
  9. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Well - maybe you need to be married - but that entails some work preparing yourself for that role - and as a woman.

    If a woman says she is holding out for marriage and children - men just looking for a quick fling (most men really) will go elsewhere. Men who might be serious about it would stick around.

    But your a young women - maybe you just want a boyfriend - go to the movies - have a meal - have some fun - in which case avoid the online world and do some activities which might bring you into social contract with younger men age appropriate to someone like yourself.

    My advice would be to avoid the internet when looking for a man.

    In the real world its easy to check them out - get mates to check them out - family or anyone. You meet people knowing some history - who they are and so on.

    Not saying there are not some some great guys online - but I'm 47, English - we're like doomed before never even started. If I had a time machine - well - the military would kill me - they always do!

    Love is always a risk no matter what - but you can lesson the risks - make sure that whoever ends up on your sofa is kind - because at least there will be no scenes!

    Your very young though - I'm sure that lots of decent young men would love to have a girl like you - but you got to get out and meet some of them! - so hope you have some social contact - education, work or friends to maybe hook up up for a date.

    First date a man always pays. In Europe we taught our women the wonders of actually buying us a meal!

    I'd eat out forever if I was a girl!

    All they (the men) would get is a peck on the cheek!

    Try not to get down so much meme - you identified a problem - so take steps to put it right.

    Sure caring for yourself at a certain level - not easy. But - don't ruminate on being alone - one day you iwll be married and look back on the days when you had time to ruminate all day!!

    Hope you feel a bit better.
     
  10. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    Thanks...trying not to ruminate but I really dont' know where to meet people that want what's important.
    i would never mention marriage or children to a guy unless I'd been with him for awhile
    but i"m not into the bar scene.....where to meet?

    Why not online? That's what everybody has been suggesting so I don't know.

    Part of me has no interest in a partner...just the family part.
     
  11. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    I understand how you are feeling Meme, I really do.

    Sometimes, what we want isn't what we need. "The hand you hold is the hand that holds you down" Everything To Everyone - Everclear
    You have to learn to be happy with yourself, only then can someone else be happy with you.
    And as I learned from personal experience, it never happens when we are looking for it, it happens once we accept that we are alone and learn to be happy with that. That happiness shines out for the world to see, its a confidence that attracts others to us.

    If we depend on a relationship to make us happy, we aren't really happy at all, even in that relationship; it becomes a mask, a defense mechanism meant to protect us from our loneliness. Find yourself, find your own happiness and then you will be ready to share that with someone else :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2011
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I wouldn't meet on line because there are too many predators on there..I was just talking to a woman moving back to the states from Africa and she startsd going on about haveing a relationship, marriage, kids, and she would take care of me..I quit talking to her asap..You can meet someone in a library, grocery store, really just any where that is social..I hope you get past this stage and start feeling positive again..
     
  13. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Somewhere social, I agree. Take some girlfriends and go bowling, or to a place where alot of people hang out, dancing, whatever.. I'd avoid bars.. You don't want to meet up with a guy and all he wants to do is drink. I don't think there is anything wrong with drinking, but if you find a guy in a bar, well he probably has issues with it.. I rarely drink, and I never go to a bar. But when I was young, I did it quite often, and I drank all the time..

    Just find a nice place where you can meet a guy..

    You tried the online thing, and you said you got hurt, so trying it again would be an awful thing to do!! So don't go that route..

    If I didn't have my kids, I would probably feel a lack of purpose myself, especially if I lived alone.. I think what you need is a good solid relationship to fill that void in your heart. It might not happen overnight, but it doesn't mean it won't.

    Key words: don't give up hope..
     
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