Im not coping very well. Ive dealt with episodes like this throughout since my late teens, im now in my 30's. I have gradually found myself as a person as ive got older but im really not happy with who and what ive turned out to be. I dont seem to have any drive about me at all and am just happy going along at a steady pace. It must drive others mad, but thats how I am. Sometimes I think im happy like that, sometimes I think im a waste of space. I dont know which I am to be honest. I lost a close relative this time last year to a terminal ilness and now my mother in law has been diagnosed with a similar ilness. My self and my wife are also going through IVF treatment and it really is getting on top of me. My work is suffering, everything is suffering. Im hiding everything and trying to carry on but its getting harder and harder. I feel I have a role to play and be big and strong for my wife at this time but im letting her down. I dont know what to do anymore and I doubt I will find the answer here but I thought id write this to try and release some of the pressure. My mind is a mess.