Woke up today , I had to wash my hair. I usually wake up crying because of my constant nightmares. start of a depressing day. Nothing like trying to make something grow strong and work with no results. I think imma shave my head honestly. Having hair is a waste its becoming too much with little results. Plus I showered and wanted to just switch my dirty sheets. I didn't mind doing it on my own but I get yelled at and told he hates me because he thought I was guilt tripping him to switch the sheets. All that negative energy for wanting clean sheets on the bed. Once we switched the sheets he petted me on my head like the dirty dog I clearly am and said he loved me. What an asshole. Just another day I guess. I just try to stay out of people's way but for some reason I guess that's not enough. Lire finds me in my corner , drags me out from my hair and mentally, emotionally beats me. I feel my depression forming into something else. Maybe thats what I need to take my final step. I need something to change even if it's me. Either way I'm fucking tired ass hell.