Feeling tired

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpk, Mar 23, 2016.

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  1. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Did not sleep to well last night again. Thinking about the past failures that can't be changed and thinking of the future failures that have not happened.
    Then the thoughts of suicide creep in, know it is not the answer and spend hours self talking about how everything will be okay.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Easier said than done but don't bring your past into the present because it has nothing new to share. Suicide certainly 100 percent is not the answer. Do you think you would benefit from counselling? Keep talking about how things will be okay because they will be okay! *hugs* to you x
     
  3. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    I have no desire to commit suicide yet it seems the option is always present. I am not able to afford counseling as I am on a fixed budget which is another stressor. I keep self talking about how things will be fine yet for some reason it seems to be taking longer than usual to sink in.
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    One thing to remember is that the past can not be changed; you can however change how you feel about it. Much, much easier said than done! How I wish that was just a flick of a switch... you can not correct what you did in your past, so try to stop the thoughts before they even happen... distract yourself as soon as those thought patterns start... even if it's going through tomorrows grocery list in your head... You are you, you are not your past.
     
  5. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I have tried to retrain my thoughts and to go to my happy place when I start thinking about the past and the future. It is tough and right now I am on an emotional roller coaster that does not seem to want to stop.
     
  6. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    I'm sure you know what everyone will say "don't think about these things" and so on... But we all know it's literally impossible to do that at the start.

    My solution was medication. It basically saved me and got me a few hours sleep. I used diazepam (2mg) and it really helped. It is addictive... But, suicide and lack of sleep is worse. Doctors can help if you do get addicted though. It might have different names depending on where you're from.

    I also found talking to people helped a lot. I managed to find some nice people here who would talk on Skype. I just found conversation was a great help.
     
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  7. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    I was given trazodone awhile back for sleep yet that made me feel like a zombie. I take melatonin before I go to bed which makes me drowsy. Last night was the same as before, no REM sleep and basically just lying in bed.
     
  8. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    When I hit grief I had the same problems. Extremely bad anxiety and no sleep. It seemed like forever that it lasted... But, it passed. I know that's no help now.

    Have you talked to a doctor? I don't know how health insurance works in your country so I don't know if it's free or not. If so, give it a shot.

    I still listen to podcasts before I sleep. Nothing stimulating. I also use ASMR to sleep which always helps. Maybe search YouTube for ASMR?
     
  9. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    No insurance so not able to talk to doctor. I turn the TV down low on cartoon's just for the background noise. It is tough having insomnia. I really believe that if I could get more restful sleep it would help the depression.
     
  10. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Its frustrating isn't it? Sleep would definitely help. Maybe instead of cartoons try something with more neutral voices? Like audiobooks or something.

    Also not eating a long time before and maybe a bath or shower.
     
  11. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    I try to listen to the least exciting cartoons I can. I usually take a warm shower before bed and then try to clear my mind. The worst time of the night is between midnight and when I get up at 6:00.
    That is when the thoughts enter and start their dance.
     
  12. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Have you tried meditation?
     
  13. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    I have tried the mantra, calm/relaxed while visualizing my happy place. Sometimes works sometimes doesn't
     
  14. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    That's a bit different from Normal meditation. Just focusing on the breath.

    Look at Buddhism meditation. Sadly the West has confused people on what meditation is.
     
  15. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    I will look it up. I do try to breath in and out deeply when feeling the tension.
     
  16. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    The meditation is about just thinking about the breath. When new thoughts some you stop and go back to focusing on your own breath. Thats all you think about is your breath. It's about eliminating all thought.
     
  17. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    I will try and do that.
     
  18. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hello Mpk and Lestat
    Here's another site that I've found helpful with meditation, I found one years ago that was a mantra meditation. I had difficulty just focusing on my breath and found it easier(for me) to focus on a word(mantra) I got the book "Deep Meditation" by Yogani and it explained it really simply and it does seem to help. Now if only I could motivate myself to do it when depression hits in, that would be good. Anyway, thought I'd share this, anything that may help is worth a try.
    Hope everyone feels better.
    Brian
    www.aypsite.org
     
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  19. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    Brian777 likes this.
  20. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I hope you can rest soon. I hate insomnia. I take benadryl at night to help mine. Hope something helps soon
     
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