Feeling to short

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jamaltc, Oct 6, 2016.

  1. Jamaltc

    Jamaltc Member

    This might seem tedious to a lot of you and I apologize but it's need to get off my chest. I've always felt like I'm just to short to be desirable or good in anyway. I'm 5'4 male. Today I kinda had a mini break down because of it. I was simply trying to clean the mirror in my bathroom of which at the highest point I am unable to reach. I stupidity tried a few times, and I don't know, just the fact that I was born to be so short pisses me off a lot of day. I honestly feel so disadvantaged not being able to reach anything. So in my anger I knocked and threw everything on the ground and punched the shower wall as hard as I could a few times. Then just sat on the ground for awhile, then finished cleaning. But yeah, that's my rant, I just hate being short with every fiber in my being and I don't know what to do about it. Any help would be appreciated, thanks.
    Thauoy likes this.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Honestly, I think acceptance is all you can do. Learn to love yourself the way you are, yes, much easier said than done. I'm assuming your confidence and self esteem is suffering from this issue. Therapy can help you a lot, would you be open to the idea of therapy? You deserve to feel happy in your own body. I am sorry you are feeling this way. Keep talking to us.
    DrownedFishOnFire and Thauoy like this.
  3. Jamaltc

    Jamaltc Member

    Thank you Petal, I know I should just accept it but idk, maybe I'm making it harder then it should be. I often try to get myself to think about the pros of it or anything good and write them down, but I can never think of anything and that always puts me in a mental slump afterward. You're assumption is right, I have very litte to no confidence or self esteem what so ever. I don't think I'm worth very much at all.

    Therapy has been something I've always thought about but haven't quite gotten myself there yet, I guess I'm just sacred. I want to actually love myself but I feel like I can't the way I am now.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Jamaltc, I can tell you're frustrated and hurting. I'm sorry that sometimes daily things like cleaning the mirror in the bathroom end up making you feel badly. I hope to reassure you...My niece's brother-in-law is about your height and age (he might be shorter, actually, around 5'2"). He is smart, has a great sense of humour, works hard. I'm sure that like many guys of a compact stature, he's a bit sensitive about his height. In spite of that, it hasn't held him back...He plays rugged sports. He is in great physical shape. He has a lovely girlfriend who is a about 5-6 inches taller. He is not tall. He is still very attractive. :)

    Sometimes, especially with things we cannot change, it can help to accept it (as @Petal suggested). Then we can move on from seeing only what we "don't like" about ourselves to being the most we CAN be in every other way.

    I know it's harder to just accept than it is for me to suggest it...I do hope you can though. Please take care of yourself. :)
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That is either your depression or low self esteem talking, everyone is worth something. You just need to build up everything that is weighing you down. I wouldn't ''not'' date a guy because of his height or think less of him, if I did I would be the one that has a problem (in my mind), it would not matter to me. I think you should most definitely give the counselling a shot. I have been to many therapists for different issues, always had good results. Please seek therapy and talk to us here, we're all in this together :) Google therapists in your area and go from there, pick up the phone and just do it, it will be a new beginning :)
  6. franksuxx

    franksuxx Member

    You must be cute and there are so many people who would appreciate it. Let them appreciate you until you learn to appreciate yourself
  7. Jamaltc

    Jamaltc Member

    Thank you Petal, Acy, and franksuxx so much. It does make feel better to just talk about this kinda stuff even though it doesn't outright the problem, but it's just really nice to know or feel like people care. And for that I sincerely thank you all.

    You're all completely right, I need to learn to accept myself in all my short comings. I guess over time I've just built up greater resement towards myself for all my failures and short comings, especially when it comes to relationships and rejections. I know no one it prefect, we all have flaws that make us, us. I've just always felt less then. I've always has this thought that "If I was better, this wouldn't happen or she'd want me". I guess we've all had that thought from time to time.

    @franksuxx, I really like that idea, I mean who wouldn't like to have someone love them and even point of good things about.

    I know I should be more positive about myself and seeking therapy has been on my mind for years now. Trying to accept things I have no control over has been a big issue in my life, I don't see much good in myself but idk, talking all this out with a therapist could help. I just need to get myself into a place where I can tell those around me how U honestly feel, or I'll feel like I'm sneaking around and I don't want to veiw my therapy as embarrassing or upsetting in ny head, if that makes any sense.

    But once again, thank you all for your kind words, I didn't think anyone would care. I hope one day I can reach a place as to where I love myself.
  8. Thauoy

    Thauoy Well-Known Member

    The best thing is to learn to accept whatever comes our way without fighting ,then we will be much happier.
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  9. franksuxx

    franksuxx Member

    Count on me if you need to talk. You are strong :)
  10. Fleetw

    Fleetw Member

    I am male and also 5'4". Being that height does have some advantages. I frequently bicycle on a reproduction Schwinn Stingray. Much easier for a shorter person to bike on those because they were basically designed for kids/teenagers. I own a factory '76 Cadillac limousine. It has a partition window which means the front seat does not go back very far. Anyone above about 5'10" would feel cramped driving this car but I have plenty of leg room.

    Another advantage: At one job I worked at I was a machine operator. At a cosmetics company; a machine which will fill bottles with nail paint and put brushes and caps on the bottles. Sometimes the machine wasn't running well and the operator had to walk around the machine, behind it, to un-jam the brushes. In the front of the machine, there was some room to duck under and get to the back without walking all the way around it. Again, only someone short could do that. It save me a lot of walking!
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  11. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    It got its benefits like other members mentioned being average height. Get a step stool for those higher cabinet placements as many people deal with this in their homes. 5 feet 4 inches still is in the average spectrum IMO. Use it to your avantage.
    Fleetw likes this.