I've just had my first psych consult. He told me that the reason I can't talk openly and honestly about my feelings is that I feel too much and run from my emotions. I've been convinced that I have BPD for a while now (triggered by bullying and isolation in junior high school, when I should have been discovering my identity and learning to build relationships). I'm reluctant to diagnose myself. I'm on a waiting list for psychotherapy, which could be a six month wait. I didn't ask for a diagnosis, and after only an hour of talking I would be wary of one so quickly. But since my problems are those of BPD, should I, while I wait the long wait for therapy, treat myself as having BPD? Should I read about it and learn how it is treated? Should I tell my family so they can understand why I am the way I am? Sorry that was a bit of a ramble, but putting a name to what is wrong with me would be helpful, especially if professional treatment is a long way off. Before I start therapy I have to learn to deal with my intense emotions so that I can be open and honest and talk without breaking down (seriously, what kind of shrink doesn't keep tissues in his office, I bawled my eyes out and my nose was dripping and it was embarrassing!), and isn't that part of BPD?