Feeling trapped :/

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SkullDragon, Mar 3, 2015.

  1. SkullDragon

    SkullDragon Member

    For a pretty good time now I've had this immense feeling of being trapped, it bothers me, but I can't figure out why I feel like this.
    I am more free now than I have ever been, I have a stable job, no longer any pets so I can travel where I want when I want. I've been able to move out and away from my abusive father, and have an absolute wonderful boyfriend -yet I feel like I'm suffocating. I thought maybe it was because I live with my boyfriend, and we share the rent / other costs, and that if he wanted to leave me then I would have nowhere to live and not enough money to cope - but I know that is wrong. I can always pick up more hours at work, or rent a place with lower costs. I'd probably be just fine on my own, so I shouldn't feel trapped in a relationship I am extremely happy in. I am no longer responsible for another life (my doggie that have passed), and so I know that no matter what happens I'll be ok. The last few days I've had increasingly realistic nightmares too, mostly being rooted some way in reality. Like last night I was "back home" living with my dad, and he was acting incredibly threatening and violent, and I kept telling myself in the dream that if I don't find a way to move out within the next few days he will kill me - it was absolutely terrifying. Yet here I am, wide awake, yet still feeling absolutely stuck.

    I don't know if it's something that will pass, but I sure as hell hope so :/