Okay first off sorry for venting i just really have no wheres to go and no one to talk to... advice is welcomed and appreciated So im pretty sure ive been depressed for the last six years, it really started in high school when i became disgusted with my looks. Suicidal thoughts would come and go and gradually got worse. Ive always held on to see if things would get better, but they havent. I always end up back here. I posted on this forum a few months ago at a low point and got professional help, but soon after i convinced them i was fine and stopped seeing the counselor (100 bucks a session seems like a waste when suicide is inevitable) My life is a mess as i only have two 'friends' who whenever i see use drugs (im sick of drugs but thats all they want to do). I literally have no one to talk to but myself. My university is going downhill (i never go because i hate being in public) even though i am/was capable of very high grades. Ive stopped exercising and have lost over 20 pounds (down to 130). I always feel like a disgusting weak unsociable nerd/geek with no potential, no hope and no reason. I feel trapped and dont know what to do.