Feeling unloved and lonely, isolated, disconnected

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by just_some_guy, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. just_some_guy

    just_some_guy Member

    August has ended for me with a $114 bill from my ex for additional childcare-related expenses. Sometimes it feels like my existence has been reduced to being nothing more than an ATM for her. I've been working hard to move on, but life just feels like endless work without joy or reward. It's difficult not to feel resentful when I know she's living exactly the life she wants with her girlfriend. Meanwhile, I am so lonely, and I can't even get a date (i.e. no dates in August).

    I did finally go to a singles event in August, but there were only a few women, and I didn't really talk to anyone. A few days later, the event host called to follow up on what I thought of the event, and she suggested that I should subscribe to their matchmaking service. At nearly $500, it's a bit expensive, but it runs for three years. I definitely find the concept intriguing. I feel like I could be stuck in this empty rut indefinitely unless I try something different, but would the experience of a professional matchmaking service be much better than the non-existent experience I'm currently having with regular online dating?

    I am so tired of living this meaningless life that I currently have, but I just don't know what to do.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. What about getting together with friends?
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am not going comment/ make any recommendation about the service you mention- whether is worth it or not is impossible to say and I am sure will be some that find those useful and some that find them useless. But I do suggest you look into it carefully and get some references, and most importantly find out /ask for 30 or 90 day refund / partial refund so if it is nothing useful you do not feel swindled and even worse /more desperate hard on yourself as well. The real question is are you able to talk to women or not- if not paying to go to places around them and hoping they decide to take all the impetus is likely going to end in disappointment ( not at all putting you down- just pointing out the issue of spending for something if the only way to connect is not something you ever see yourself doing).

    So far as the ex-wife- if it is in the court agreements nothing to do- but if it is not absolutely a court order then do not. Use that money to do something with child yourself or something special for child yourself instead of allowing it to go to her if is not specifically ordered and do keep track of all those things so if ends up back in court at a later date you have the documentation you need. Is not worth making things uglier by arguments and fights- just look out for your interests and do not be pushed into doing things out of guilt.

    This is not meant to be some insightful great advice- really just want to say I read your message, and you matter, your issues matter - certainly enough so I feel like you deserve a response/ somebody to talk back when you say something so call it casual conversation over coffee. Just want you to know you are not ignored, overlooked, or alone here.
  4. quest10

    quest10 Active Member

    They do say that love comes when you least expect it. Perhaps work on yourself and get YOU in a better place. Love yourself and do stuff for you. Your child/children will respect you for supporting them, all be it via her mother's requests for money, try not to see it that way, do it for your children and help them understand the value of loving themselves and growing up to be fine young adults. Help them and yourself grow with love and it will come to you x
    lolo1010 likes this.