feeling unwanted and isolated and hated

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Petal, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm feeling very isolated and unwanted everywhere. I can't help that I'm not popular, I just cannot seem to fit in anywhere. I have three sisters, two do not talk to me as we've had huge arguments, my 11 y/o niece hasn't spoken to me in about two years. My mum is good to me as is my brother but everyone else hates me in this god forsaken village. I have no independence, can't afford a car. I'm on disability and earn a small bit of extra cash doing rehabilitative work. I'm thinking of saving every cent until next year and getting the hell out of here. F.M.L.

    People hate me and I will never understand why, I have a shit personality, that could be it, i'm not creative or fun but I do care about others. I know I am a good person but why can't other people see that in me?
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I can't imagine why anyone would hate you, but if they do, then it's their loss. Maybe moving away from there would be a fresh start for you. Do you think that you would be happier if you lived somewhere away from the things and people that make you feel bad about yourself? I feel that way a lot. I think being in a better environment would be good for you. I don't think you have a shit personality, I think you are lots of good things and we care about you here. I hope you will feel better soon.
    Petal likes this.
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Remember we do not choose our families.
    But keep in mind that you may be even more lonely if you move somewhere where you know no one.

    I am trying to build up my support system where I am, but it is hard. I have been here for nearly two years. Starting afresh will be hard, especially if you are not in school or someplace where people are looking to meet new people.

    I can see that you are a kind and caring person. But people can be judgemental so they just think about what they have heard about you from the past. Like they have that which keeps them from getting to know you.
    Petal likes this.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I've just made an account which I can save money on so I guess that is a start.

    Yeah, people judge me, people have heard bad things about me so don't even say hello and look down on me. I must learn to hold my head up high and be prepared to say I'm living my life exactly as I want to so please mind your own damn business about what you have heard. F off. Toxic people. Thanks for understanding and being compassionate, I appreciate that a lot.

    I think starting afresh would actually be my life saver, it would set me free, I'd join clubs, get involved in local activities etc..I know I would :)
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  5. just_some_guy

    just_some_guy Member

    You have completely described my experience with life over the last year and a half.
  6. afterlifepig

    afterlifepig Well-Known Member

    i can think of once when i shunned a person because they looked and acted awkward. i regret that now. but i'm probably not the type of person who would be judgmental and gossipy. i've been hurt by gossip. people saying i was stupid when the reality is i have a borderline genius level iq (or i did when i was a kid anyway). just ignorant people jumping to incorrect conclusions because of an incident.
    Petal likes this.
  7. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Hugs Know we are here. We love you here. So sorry you're going through this. Hugs PM me if you want. Here for you
    Petal likes this.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am not gonna sugar coat it, I have a reputation in this village for being a slut when i was very young-too fucking young, it makes me mad when i look back and think of the guys that took advantage of my weaknesses and vulnerability. Utterly disgusted with them and myself. I am hated in this village, people cross the street when they see me cos i am ''crazy'' i recently heard someone say to someone ''she's a schizophrenic'', i wanted to say fuck you im actually borderline. I just cannot fit in and i want to just fit in. I don't want to be a leader, i am a follower. I've done some stupid things in my life that im so ashamed of, i don't wanna be me anymore :( i want a day in the life of someone else :(
  9. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    So sorry that happened. Just hard to get people to see that no one is perfect. I make mistakes every day and strangers look at me thinking I should know better. Haven't they ever made a mistake before? So sorry you're going through this. Know I'm always here listening and everything. Hugs
    Petal likes this.