Feeling VERY burnt out

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by betteroffunknown, Oct 11, 2016.

  1. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    I don't even know where to start, but am going to keep this brief (which is unusual for me).

    I'm feeling terribly burnt out right now. Saw my pdoc this morning, and tears came to my eyes while in his office. He offered to help me to go the place I was just released from a month ago - if I feel I need it - again. He can't order me to be there because I'm not an imanant threat to myself or anyone else atm, but he can see the pressure is mounting again.

    This would be my 5th time there in 11mon (which also disturbs me!). It's similar to a hospital by way of getting therapy there and med adjustments, but it's not a locked down place. They also encourage people to keep with their regular appts and things going on as much as possible. They allow pass time to do such things.

    I'm burnt out with Dr's, therapy, meds (and all that goes along with all that), as well as everything else I'm contending with including an anniversary approaching, a civil court matter I'm dealing with (which brings up a totally different trauma for me), and a number of other things. Admittedly, I'm overwhelmed; it all just feels like too much. My pdoc isn't aware that I'm burnt out on dealing with Dr's, therapy, and meds, though, but he's aware of the rest.

    Just not sure how much longer I can keep holding out. It's been becoming much more of a struggle to do.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. Can you drop some of the things you need to do? What about getting someone to help you out? Like maybe got with you to certain appointments and write stuff down for you?
    electricalanomaly likes this.
  3. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    I can't tell you just how much I'd like to do any of those things!!!! I have an appt with a lawyer tomorrow that needed to happen last week. I don't have anyone that can go with me to any appts. I have a meeting Thurs morning, but the way it's looking at the moment I'll be attending it via the phone anyways cuz I think I'm gonna call my pdoc tomorrow afternoon to take him up on his offer - again. Fri I have an appt with my primary doc (at her request), and a therapy appt where I was suppose to start EMDR. It's possible I'll still be able to keep both of those appts if I go to that place. Like I said they encourage folks keeping up with as much of their normal stuff as possible, and I'd have the support of the therapist there.

    I have to be honest, though. Even though I'm strongly entertaining the idea of going back to that place I'm just as much dreading it for the simple fact that I have been there too much already this year. I went 6 or 7yrs without a single hospital stay (or this particular place), and now this would make it having been there 5x's within a year, and it's a bit overwhelming to me. I'd of never given this many visits a 2nd thought before that long stretch without, but given I did have that stretch it's making this that much worse. It's too much too fast. This leaves me feeling like I don't even want to do it whether it's good for me or necessary.
  4. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity Chat Pro

    It is tough when a ton of things happen at once... tougher when it brings past traumas to the front of our minds.

    Change is a difficult process... and set backs are a part of changing one's life for the better.

    There is no shame in returning if you need to... nor is there any shame in seeking whatever help you can for each individual issue.

    We are here for you if you need it.
    betteroffunknown likes this.
  5. electricalanomaly

    electricalanomaly too sad to say hi.

    Hello do you currently have a Psychologist & Psychiatrist that you see regularly for support? I just wanted to say, don't put to much value on your recent hospital stays. It does not make you any less of a person, to be honest. Please stop adding additional pressure on yourself by not entertaining this thought any longer. Please trust me on this.

    It must be very difficult to resolve an issue with lawyers involved. The uncertainty, constant stress and worrying and physical toll associated with this process will certainly tax a person both physically and mentally. Add the daily chores of life, family, work and it's understandable to feel burnt out. But I've had the same feeling almost 20 years ago. I tried explaining to my best friend that I can't go on anymore. I can't take it. But she never understood what it meant until she visited me on a 3 day involuntary hold at a mental health facility. I still remember all the good people that I've come across who have supported me.

    I know you're very busy. If you have time for a walk or hike or any physical activity you can indulge in-go for it. It might help you feel better. Thats the only thing that works for me, and wellbutrin. Please take care.
    betteroffunknown likes this.
  6. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    I just saw my pdoc yesterday, and instead of waiting a month per norm to see him he put me down for two weeks because by that point it'll only be a couple days before a very difficult anniversary - the one I believe you read on my '2nd anniversary' thread.

    I have a new therapist, one I actually requested, and I am more comfortable talking to her, but I guess that's one of the biggers issues at the moment - sharing in person. I did 'ok' (not great) for a couple weeks after I was released a month ago, but have since slipped back into the awkward struggle. This is completely out of character for me, too.

    What I'm dealing with now is only a civil matter, not criminal, but 8yrs back I did go through a criminal one, and even though I was the victim in the case I still was facing up to 60yrs in prison because of it. I knew back then that I wasn't prison material. I'd of never lasted in that environment, but now anytime when dealing with courts I can't help but freak. I realize, especially in a civil case, I wouldn't spend any time in jail (unless I no show) and even then the thought or prospect of that throws me into a tail spin. The first time I went in this civil matter I was beside myself with anxiety. Anxiety galore, so much so that I even got tears in my eyes while talking with the lawyers. I had no one by my side when I went, and didn't have anyone to talk to after it was over, either.

    Here's what I haven't mentioned to this point, and that is both the anniversary and the next court date are on the SAME day! Just the thought of that is weirding me out. Just for that alone I'm thinking it might be good to be in that place when that day comes, because I know how not well I'm handling it now, I can't even begin to imagine how much of a wreck I'll be at court on the day itself. I figure the extra support that day would be good cuz I have a therapist I've worked with there before working with me again, and I could go back and meet with him after it's over. I don't have anyone who could go with me, either, so wouldn't have any extra support if I'm not at that place.
  7. electricalanomaly

    electricalanomaly too sad to say hi.

    Hope you are feeling better. Lots of good hearted people on this forum, don't hesitate to come back and talk or ask for advice.