Feeling very very low and empty!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Dec 12, 2007.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling so very,very low and empty right now having constant mood swings the fact is I'm doing my best to try and feel better but it just doesn't last.I'm doing my best to hang on it's probably because I've resisted to attempt anything by now to be honest I don't know really why I have.Maybe it's fear in a way of not succeeding,maybe fear of hurting other's,fear of actually attempting and not succeeding,fear of not being able to be around to enjoy the thing's and people I love.

    I just don't know really but so often I feel why am I really bothering for?Exacrtly why am I really persisting with all this?I can't work it out as at times I keep thinking I'm going to eventually die why keep on going for?I think I get sick of this hell the mood swing's,my Ocd and Body dysmorphic disorder really do take out alot from me each day and night.

    I sound like a broken record saying the same thing's also,why am I letting people who have used me in the past keep getting to me?well one thing is my Ocd I obsess constantly alot over the same thing's and it's that hard to stop.The other thing is I'm convinced I'm not a bright person at all,that's right I don't have what it takes to be something that is the truth.Other's seem to say that's not true and it's my self confidence,but it is because I know if I'm dumb or not and I have to face reality.

    Anyway enough of my whineing for now I guess I'll still be around given my screwed up mind,and not even knowing if I'm capable enough of eben ending everything seeming I screw up everything else.:sad:
  2. alice0705

    alice0705 Well-Known Member

    Hi Ace. I just went through a period like this, this morning. Everything felt dark and hopeless. With me, I think my thoughts are a big problem, obsessing on things or problems that may not even be real problems. Plus, always feeling negative about myself and letting people walk on me. I went for a walk and felt a better. Just wanted you to know that I can relate and to hang on. I do not want to die at all and I know it will pass, but I still cannot get out of that path in my brain that thinks about suicide.!! Unless I walk. Big hug. Hang on.
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey ace! This is going to sound horrible but I hope you keep being afraid. If that is what it takes to keep you here then so be it. Now when you're feeling afraid, try to think of those people you love and those things you want to do in life. That should help ease the pain of the scared feeling and once you can see some positives, keep trying to make them grow. Hang in there ace, there would be such a big hole here at SF if you don't.
  4. silence1one

    silence1one Member

    I have been feeling so....low since this morning.I took an afternoon nap,woke up had my lunch at 4.30 p.m. and guess what I ate handful of lollies to keep me high!!! Now I felt a bit better.Hang on there.
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hang on ace, i can understand your mood swings as i have them, these make you and your thoughts unpredictable, this you can't help.

    bravo for resisting stuff, carry on with that, find things to do that brings just a little bit of normality into your day, a walk, go for a run etc.

    lack of confidence leads to low self esteem so yes you will put yourself down but i doubt you are right, you seem a very bright person to me.

    life will always be tough for those like us but this is what we have, don't give in and fight to see another dawn, fight for yourself.

    take care
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thank's so much everyone I'm just severely down as anything right now I have the worst thought's of suicide going through my mind.I feel so lost and down like hell it's been like this for so long,I just feel ending it all will be the best thing to do.:sad:
  7. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    keep on fighting ace, one day it will be worth it although you can't see it now
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    We'll see I'm feeling so much like shit right now and nothing is making it any better as hard as I'm trying.:sad:
  9. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    take 1 day at a time ace, 1 step at a time.

    we all have ups and downs, the mood swings from one day to the next.
    one day its fine and the next everything is too much, days like this are to be expected.
    getting back to where we all feel almost normal most of the time is a very long road.
  10. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    everyone is right, here one day at a time... its very hard... I know. Just take it little by little .
  11. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    It's so tough to just keep prodding along especially when you feel it's not worth it.:sad:
  12. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    Be "something"? Yeah, you'll never be something, because you're someone. :) What makes you think you're not bright? Different people are good at different things, I'm really no good at "normal" stuff that other people seem to have no trouble with, but I don't really care, because I'm good at other stuff.
  13. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    It's very difficult because I have Ocd and Bdd which are a real handful to say the least.:sad:
  14. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    You describe me so well, Ace, and I concur with everyone else the importance of taking life one day at a time. Sometimes it's one hour and a time or 15 minutes, even one minute at a time. Life gets that way. Lots of plodding.

    OCD has been an annoyance all my life. When I began obsessing about killing myself, the doctor put me on meds for OCD, which hasn't taken the thoughts away, but has made them less compulsive.

    I know you feel empty, and recognizing that can be a positive step toward feeling your worth. I know, too, what being low is like. I went into a hole three years ago, and just recently finally climbed out - for a rest or for good, I'll wait and see.

    Wanting to die is always a dilemma for most of us. We feel like there's no other way to escape the pain, but we don't want to leave behind a bunch of family and friends grieving and angry, totally devastated.

    When I'm not at the brink of suicide, I can see those things, but when I'm about to fall in the hole, they disappear and all I can see is that the only way to go on is to die. Not fun. Do give yourself some slack and some time.

  15. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I really hate feeling like this today I saw my Dr and pretty much got nothing out of the visit,I'm just so sick of these feeling's all the condition's make life hell.:mad::sad:
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