Today I'm in a strange mood...I'm not really depressed, and I have a lot of energy. Having a little trouble focusing on work but it's been far worse in the past. The weird part is all I want to do is go home and take my seroquel, which will knock me out, but I'm actually having a relatively good day. Last night I took it and made myself stay awake for a couple of hours and it was actually a kinda pleasant feeling...totallly numb and calm. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Why do I want to escape if I'm actually not depressed?
You probably do it because you enjoy the feeling of being numb and calm. We do things that make us happy.. whether that happyness came from a drug or a big cheesecake pie. The feeling of not really caring about anything or anyone else is a great feeling. It's a bit selfish, but such as life.
