Lately I have been feeling this constant sinking feeling. I usually could wake up and be up for an hour without feeling like shit. But now as soon as I wake up I get this sinking feeling straight away and it won't go away. I have been taking my meds but it still doesn't take this pain away. I have been constantly thinking about death for the past few days. I try to keep myself busy just helping out around the house, working out which usually makes me feel great about myself. After a workout I could look in the mirror and feel proud from how defined I am getting but now when I see myself after a workout I just hear these voices telling me that no matter how much I try I cannot better myself that I will always be a loser and alone. I just don't know what to do any more this all just seems so pointless. My best friend is moving away just so much bad shit has happened in the past year it was soo overwhelming and I think its finally starting to take its toll on me. I have been depressed for so long know and everyday feels like a constant battle and I am just so tired of fighting I just want to leave this place.