feeling worthless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by empty heart_soul, May 13, 2008.

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  1. i just dont know why the hell im here :WTF: when on 11.17.97 - it should have been me to die and not my dad :cry:.

    I figure the only thing I'll most likely NEVER be is a parent. My grandma told my mom "I hope you have a kid like you only worse" - that's exactly what she got. I am definately my dad's kid - although i despise his side of the 'family' im a dam stupid lazy good for nothing just like all of them.

    I have never had a real relationship with anyone of the opposite sex. if i met some1 and told them my life story :eek:h::paperbag:they would just leave.

    On top of that my 10 year high school reunion is next year and my classmates had the nerve to vote me a senior standout "Most"... a 'title' that I havent lived up too just like evreything else:wink:

    All I ever do lately is break my mom's heart and continue to put shame on my dad's memory:sad:
    my friend from 3rd grade should have been born my mom's kid instead of me and evreyone would be better off and happier :mellow:

    All I feel inside is emptiness that can never been whole again like it once was:blub:
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry to read you are feeling so low, but i'm glad you found SF.

    feeling this way about yourself is one of the symptoms of depression, and if you are suffering from depression i want you to know that it can be treated, and you can recover. when we are depressed we interpret all of life's challenges in the worst possible light - each setback becomes further evidence of our overall lack of worth. might you be suffering from depression?

  3. yep. ive diagnosed myself as having severe clinical depression. I cant see a doctor b/c I have no health insurance and I figure I'll be talking with my best friend of 13 years evrething that's been going on since she's one of the few people who "really knows me". Im a introverted person who does not let people get close to me easily at all - it takes a long time to get to be comfortable enough to talk with people most of the time. besides no amount of money of time listenting to all my problems and basicly no self-worth will do any good. I find myself wishing either i can go back in time to about age 5 and start over or never have been born at all and of course neither can ever really happen:sad:
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    could you find a free clinic? i suggest talking to your doctor because it's so hard to climb out of depression yourself. it's not impossible, though. for myself, i needed some extra help. the more i tried to think my way out, the worse i felt. it took the help of a community nurse to help me out of depression, by advising me on exercise, diet, changing my thinking patterns.

    if you are gonna work on healing from depression you might want to check out the work of mary ellen copeland. just google her name and 'wrap' and you will find many resources.
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