I dont know but it sucks. Everything has to always be so hard? I need something. I know what it is but everyone else seems to think it's so wrong. Well where are all those people that at the hospital said "I'll be there, I'll help you"? Where the Hell are you now? I'm alone with my thoughts and urges and where the Hell are you????? Awww yes I forgot....... that was all for appearance sake. Well I need even one of those promises right now. I'm holding on for a bloody date!!! Why bother. Screw it all I want to throw in the towel and let someone else clean up the mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!