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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by itmahanh, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    like i need to disappear again. be alone. isolate. indefinitely. so if im not around, you'll know why. feeling like shit and just want to hide away from the world. take care of the hurt the only way i know how. i thought this was a new start but some people just arent allowed such things. im such a stupid ass for thinking i could of been one of those people.
  2. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Im sorry to hear that hunni. If you need to talk you know where i am. Im sorry its took a while for someone to reply to you.

    Please dont isolate because you feel you have to, come and talk to us instead. Im sure you will feel better eventually :) a problem halved and all that :)
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're not stupid. I hope you don't isolate, please keep talking to us.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you know this place is a safe place where you can vent it out okay instead of holding it in i too isolate and know it only feeds the depression keep venting okay reaching out dont go away again.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I know exactly how that is...keep fighting though ok....:arms:
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Stay Strong Carla!! When your gone we all miss you so much..
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm at a very strange place indeed. Know I'm going to attempt. Know exactly how. Dont know exactly when but the time frame is there. But feeling almost a sense of confidence in myself (?). Never felt this way before an atempt. Makes me feel like it just cant fail this time. Confident enough that I'm not even going to leave anyone guessing or wondering. Yet I feel like some sick deranged monster for feeling confident in myself for once. My head is spinning. And when it does that, then things get out of control. I jump the gun, or over or underestimate things, events. And failure usually follows. I'm pretty screwed up right now. I need to go out this evening. Yet I'm afraid to cuz that's not how I have it planned, yet afraid I might try something. Sorrythis isnt making any sense to anyone. Just really felt like I needed someone, anyone to know what's going on in my head.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    was just posting, being me. bam. i'm gone. happens that fast. cant hold out alone. but its all i got. and thats nothign at all. just cant keep me safe from me. and pretty mcuh everyone else is telling me tehy cant either. answers the urges pretty damn good at elast i think so. everthing i count on or counted on is saying yes to the thoguths yes to the urges yes !!!!! im losing ground fast and sayin yes myself is much easier than trying to keep strong by myself.
  9. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    sorry rambling i kno. but cant keep this shit in my head anymroe. no matter how hard i try to keep it in, it finds a place to leak out form. sorry
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    if it passes it does if it doesnt it dosnt. ic asnt stay here going through forum and afterforum cant even type antymore all wrong and to wound up to edit or fix it can t sit here alone hopin someone replies soemone gets my head back on. do or die as they say sorry
  11. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Carla, please talk to me on msn if you wish.
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    feeling emotions not real just not real what is real is your child loving you that is real that emotion is real the others emotions are false let them go is right okay just dam depression making you feel that way
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    You need to stick around for your children Carla. They need you hun and we need you too. :hug:
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