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Feelings after an attempt

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by LouiseCap, Jun 13, 2008.

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  1. LouiseCap

    LouiseCap Member

    This may sound weird or whatever but after you've attempted suicide and you obviously don't succeed.. your friends and family etc find out and try and help you.. and you're then afraid to show that you can be happy?

    I mean, when people know you have attempted suicide, you're obviously depressed and sad etc but I'm worried that if I am having a good day and smiling, laughing etc, some people may think that you're not really that sad and may have attempted to get attention or something. Know what I mean?

    I realise I care too much about what other people think but I would hate to have people think I am just attention seeking.

    Has anyone been accused of this and how did you deal with it? xx
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    when i started to feel better this is what two people said to me (my therapist and my sister).... "it's nice to see you smiling again".... i don't think your friends expect you to be depressed forever. if you are starting to feel better that's great. i think they will be happy for you. c.
  3. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    Yeh i felt that way - don't worry i understand :smile: Its strange because you'd think that someone that depressed couldn't feel any happiness but i could....it just wasn't enough to counteract the pain. Try not to quantify how you feel or suppress your feelings because of how you think you should and should not feel. Everyone is different and personally i know my family like dazzle's were only delighted when they saw me smile and laugh!
    Take care, let us know how you get on (((hug)))
  4. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I felt that way. LIke I just sent a suicidal text to my friend a couple of hours ago. I'm embarrassed now because I dont know how to respond to her now. I'm sure she thinks I'm kooky. But I dont know how to face her. Maybe she thinks I'm crying wolf....I don't know...but I think your family and friends will just be delighted to see you smile and see you happy. People who don't understand suicide ( and there are a lot out there) think we do it or talk about it because we want attention. Maybe that's true in a way...its a cry for help. I tell my fam and friends to look out for the time that I dont say anything at all. That's when you should be picking out a casket and my last outfit.
  5. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Only my husband knows of an attempt because the counsellor told him, no one else knows. But I have felt afterwards a lot better. Sometimes I think maybe it was a relief that I didn't die after all. See the thread difference between self harming and failed suicide attempt.
  6. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    Only my closest friends and family know about what happened. While my parents told the other relatives that I failed out of the window. I wrote my story in the Welcome section, so no one was looking after me all the time, coz I wasn't going to do it again.

    But still after my attempt there's some part of my brain that thinks that I shouldn't have done it.
  7. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    Your suppose to feel guity and embrassed. I felt surprised and indifferent. Until your sister and brother turn on the water works. You can't look them in the eye, or you start crying and feeling even more guilty.

    Mostly I felt cheated, not that I wasn't died. I figured live or die I would be a step closer to knowning the meaning of life. But the Universe isn't a cheap whore willing to bequeth her secrets for an offering as lowly as that of a human life.

    ~Bono the uppity canadian with a floppy head and beady little eyes
  8. lilella44

    lilella44 Well-Known Member

    yeah i know exactly how you feel.
    after i attempted i was so scared to laugh or smile because it didnt seem appropriate after what i'd done, and not like something a suicidal person would do.
    i cant remember how my parents and boyfriend reacted after i'd done it. i think my parents were a bit sus.
    but the whole time i was so scared to show any signs of happiness.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You may have those feelings, but I don't think others will judge you harshly for smiling and laughing or feeling happy. Many times you see pictures of people that suicided and you would never guess they were unhappy. They are smiling and look well adjusted. I am sure your family and friendswould be pleased to know you feel better. :hug:
  10. Unoe

    Unoe Member

    When i tried and failed, seeing my perents crying/upset as well as alot of my freind i though to my self wtf have i done.. after i got m stomach pumped i still was thinking of doing it again.. and i still do now
  11. Tree1055

    Tree1055 Member

    after mine, i ussually get into a rage about how weak i am, of not doing it, or thinking about it in the first place. sinks me lower, and the people around me just either worry or watch me from afar. suggesting methods to cope and calm down. i get pretty angry for a day or two. :O
  12. magic1

    magic1 Active Member

    When I attempt i wish to succeed to I never thought of it. I overdosed on over the counterpills, but nobody knew. They thought I had a flu. I took 100! they only made me sick for 2 days!
  13. crying_wolf

    crying_wolf Active Member

    hey whast up with me? lol
  14. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    My mum accused me of wanting attention after like my 5th attempt, and i could see why. Im abit like you, i worry about what peopel think about me, and i kind of like 'Mindread' what they are thinking, whenits just what i think that they are thinking. After my 1st attmept, i was on college campus at the tme, and my personal tutor had to take me to hospital, i got released next day, and went straight back to colege. I then broke down again, and was then taken back to the hospital [general] for a place of safety. I didnot no my counsellor all that well and she asked me if i did it for attention. I was shocked more than anything, the fact that i was crying and just needed to speak my mind, and then she asked me this. She then apoligized realising that it was inappripiate in my situation. Other than that, my friends have said that im attention seeking, but the people who have said that, now hate me, and are trying to batter me so i cant really say much else you no.

    As long you know you havent done it for attention, try not worry bout what others think, i no it is hard. As for being happy, I was in hospital after just taking an OD and becuase of the caffeine levels of the tablets, I was on a super High, and the nurses had to wander if i had a pyschriatric conditon. Being happy is good and you should try show your family and freinds when yuo are happy, but also when you are sad so they can help and support you.

    Xx Sky xX
    PM me anytime tc x
  15. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i was just talking with my old basketball coach on saturday, and i happened to mention to her that i've had severe depression sinse i was just a little kid. she came back mentioning how happy i always seemed in highschool. i had to tell her i wasn't as happy as she thought. i told her i attempted and almost succeeded in my junior or senior year i couldn't remember which one. she had never heard of it, but i told her it was true none the less. my class knew of the attempt, but they kept it quiet i guess like it really didn't happen. probably because they didn't know how to handle it. my parents kept telling me what a stupid stunt that was, and constantly reminded me they were still paying on that bill. they were sure to let me know when they were done to. all i could think was it didn't feel like a stupid stunt. so stupid maybe to them but not me. if i chose to do it again i'm going somewhere and hiding for sure.
  16. dont feel bad about it. its how you felt at the time and no one has the right to tell you that you are a lier. your feelings were real at the time of the attempt. i started to be suicidal when i was 11 and was in a psychiatric hospital until i was 15. its been 4 years since my last suicide attempt and people still tell me that i was just seeking attention back then. only because they see me smiling and laughing now. i still have depression problems, but i have learned how to go on. as for taking pills...i tried that too. its was the very first attempt i made. if it wouldn't have been for some kids that found me unconscious and called 911 i would not be here today. i took about 360 of my mothers sleeping pills. my attempts were not mere cries for help. i had every intention of dieing... i just became tiered of doing everything possible to kill my self and never making it. many have left me at deaths door only to have his door slammed in my face. i was sick of feeling that even the afterlife didn't want me. plus it was just too much psychical pain. so just hang in there. if you ever feel that you need to talk with some one ill be here.:biggrin:
  17. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    How did you feel after taking 360 sleeping tablets, did it wreck your organs?
  18. riddle

    riddle Member

    I attempted suicide by OD when I was 19. I sought help about 18 hours later; I had agonizing cramps and wasn't certain that I wanted to die anymore. I went to the hospital and was given the antidote, which, unfortunately, cause brachial constriction cutting off my oxygen and I realized how much I really do like oxygen :tongue:, but just moments after I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted to survive the attempt, wanted the antidote to work. My liver enzymes (ALT & INR) rose for about 3 days straight scaring my family and doctors and I was still uncertain. It got to the point where my doctors were deciding whether or not to transfer me to a liver ICU when my enzymes stopped rising and I was out of the woods coma and death wise, though they were high for a few months afterwards. I still couldn't decide whether or not I wanted to live for quite and while after and spent some time on bridges and at subways tracks thinking. I'm kinda back there right now. Do I regret attempting? No. Did I ever? No. Would I ever OD again? Not a chance.

    magic1, have you gotten your kidneys or liver checked out? you may have done damage to your organs.
  19. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    My parents have never found out about any of my attempts. my brothers or sister have always been around and dealt with it. well were. i would often feel sad about what i had put my sister and brothers thru but i still thought about trying it again, and how i could succeed. i guess i'll never escape it :/
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