So yeah... There once was this 14 year old boy, that loved the feeling of being loved, and also the feelings of loving and making someone feel loved, right untill i lost my ability to feel, to love and care... I really dont know what happened to me around half a year ago, i had had my heart broken by a couple of girls... Could it be that? Reasonly i lost my ability to feel love and care about ANYTHING, NO ONE, not even my family. I dont care if i see someone get hurt, i dont feel anything. I can imagine myself seeing someone get shot in the street, i wouldnt care at all, i know its bad, and everytime something happens that i should care about.. I act like i care about it... I do the right thing even tho i dont feel a damn thing, because i know if i dont do anything, im a bad person... After that... Well.. I also got depression, suicide thoughts... Thoughts of running away... I lost alot of friends, pretty much them all, and i lost my social life and everything, i changed so much because of that and became unsocial... Now im being a quiet loner in public.. In school.. Everywhere, its really ticking me off and i got no damn clue on what to do, it makes want to kill myself, ive been seeking to religion and been praying constantly for god to help me.. But what it looks like to me, god dont give a shit about all the pain im going through, the only time i can actually feel something, is wen i listen or see my idol... Ben(jamin) Burnley, hes my only light at the moment, hes music makes me cry, sad or happy, it inspires me, HE inspires me. He is truly one of the very few persons on earth that can resist the fame of being a star, he havent become one of those fame leeching paparazzi stars... And well my question is... Whats happening to me... What cursed me? Should i really end my life myself? I am truly tired of the pain everyday, OVER AND OVER! All i can do is, wake up... Go to school... Go home... Bore my head off or just hang at my PC all day... and repeated. My computer is really a comfort to me, i meet many great people at the internet, i know, i know its not a great thing to chat too much, but there actually are some people who understand me, and i might sound a bit of those typical slobs who hang around the pc all day with no life and all there E-friends.. But im not like that, its just all i have to do when i suffer from what i do, id truly sell my soul to the devil to meet some of the awesome people that i met. So yeah... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME! Im scared of what im becoming... EDIT: Could i be Schizoid? I most likely wouldnt be... Since ive looked it up and i dont have all the symptoms.