Feelings aren't the same

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by TreadingBlue, Jul 6, 2012.

  1. TreadingBlue

    TreadingBlue Well-Known Member

    I've had multiple partners/love(not really love, more as in like) interests before and many did not end well. I am not ashamed of this and neither am I proud but many were simply sexual, I have my reason for these. Before I was able to have guys attracted to me, I would have the strongest feelings for a boy for the longest time. Typical crushes: constantly thinking of them, butterflies, etc. Slowly they started to be less intense but not anything worth worrying about. Then started the sexual relationships and for awhile I was fine with this because I craved attention from someone so badly, it felt amazing to have someone wrapped around my finger for once. Alot of these relations(I didn't date really any but we would only talk to each other for awhile) ended badly, them ignoring me, not getting along, having old feelings for another or simply just drifting apart. But now I can't have serious feelings for anyone, no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I'll be interested in someone but that doesn't last long and it doesn't feel the same. I can't remember the last time I had butterflies from being attracted to someone. There's a boy who treats me with respect and says his goal is to win over my heart, this makes me happy but not completely. There's just something holding me back, i just don't feel it. I feel horrible that I can't feel the same when there's actually a good person in my life, I hate that I am wasting his time. I've told him before that I didn't feel exactly the same so I'm not leading him on. I have been alone recently, I feel like getting close is a waste of energy. Sometimes I won't be invited to events with friends and I'll be extremely sad about it but yet when I do get invited, I make up excuses to stay home. It's an endless cycle and it's exhausting me. I just want to be like I was before, I want to be happy. I understand I'm young and I should be focused on more important things but let's face it, it hapens so please don't comment on that because I've heard it countless times. What is wrong with me? Is it because I've been hurt repeatidly? Is this normal? Will it pass? I want to be close to people again, I'm so tired of being lonely. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think hun if you can get some councilling it will help you understand YOU more ok and help you heal where you need to heal and in your relationships it will help as well
    Talking to a professional does help a councillor at your school someone you trust that can help you hun to move forward some and not be where youare at right now hugs