Whenever I find myself in a social environment, especially a get-together like a party or something, I am overcome with a crippling sense of shame and guilt that makes me want to isolate myself from everyone else there. I want to hide away by myself in an empty room, preferably behind a locked door. Where no one can speak to me or look at me. Sometimes I'll be reminded, of all the people I've wronged or hurt in the past, and of my own selfish feelings that caused things to fall apart and to this day still cloud my judgment. I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to get hurt myself because of another stupid mistake. But I'm so afraid of what might happen, so ashamed of the past that I can't bear to even be in the same room as other people sometimes. I hate myself so much, why can't I ever change my ways and stop being so creepy?