Okay so right now I feel like I should just be dead. See my life, I would describe it as a rollercoaster, just up and down up and down, where is that fucking balance? Everything could be going good and then everything turns to shit 2 seconds later. I feel alone. My family cares about me, but I don't fucking care, its there job too. I thought I found someone who actually cared just because she cared not because they have to, but because she wanted to. . I just wait around all day waiting for her fucking phone calls, praying that she calls me, praying that she tells me she loves me. Everyone tells me it's 1 girl, but to me I don't see that. I see the cure right infront of me. I find it hard to go to school because I see myself as the biggest loser, but I honestly don't care at all. When i'm sitting alone at lunch or in my classes all I can think about is her, so I am not aware that people are not around me. Well thats it for now, I have so much more to say but since this is my first post I'll save the rest for a later time.