feels different

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by meagainstme, Apr 22, 2007.

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  1. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    when i think back to how i used to be when i started self harming, i was well aware of what i was doing to myself. i knew i was hurting myself. i knew what i felt.

    but now, it no longer feels like self harm, it jst feels like me. like this is something that is just part of my personality like the music i listen to etc.

    sometimes i cut without realising what ive done until after.
    its comforting now.
    i feel weird when i dont cut. like i NEED it. im actually craving it.



    im not here for advice on how to stop cutting or anything. im just wondering if anyone can relate to that?
     
  2. Oh yeah, I definitely can. But I'm having to quit because of my bf. :sad:
     
  3. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member


    yeh i read your posts about that
    how you coping without it? using alternatives?

    when i was with my gf we made a promise not to cut anymore. but now we've split up im keeping it from her that i do it [i know thats bad] and i cut on the bottom of my legs cus i know she wont see
     
  4. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I don't find that the 'use a red pen on your arm' or the ice cube thing work. Normally I punch a wall or bash my head in frustration. Not that I'm suggesting you do that or anything :blink:
     
  5. Well, I haven't cut since he made that threat, but I definitely have tried. I was so strung out the other day that I tried using a paper clip but it was strong and durable enough. I've been resorting to using one of those extendable tag holding clips that doctors and nurses use to put their ID card on and wrapping it tightly around my wrist. Not only does it make me feel better, but it's fun to watch it unravel because it'll swing around in circles when I let it go. He also noticced me doing that but I told him he can't say a damn word about it because I wasn't cutting. I also use a rubber band, but the clip thingy is more fun.
     
  6. leptoon

    leptoon Well-Known Member

    Its become an addiction. *sigh* I only wish you the best.
     
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