aint many reasons to smile these days, at least not a real one anyway. sometimes things just go my way but they always fall. if i could have one thing in my life it would be to have everyone else happy. ive already left myself to die, theres no point in trying to be happy anymore. always watching something you've wanted for years, wanting it, loving it. just when it starts to get close you realise its not what you thought it was and just like that the one reason thats kept you hanging around for so long has changed into a reason to run away as fast as you can. its when things like that happen being happy just doesnt seem real anymore. excepting this makes me feel like im myself. me, unhappy, not expecting anything, not owed anything, just me in this life till the empty ending.