Feels like I can't not drink

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Loco72, Jan 25, 2008.

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  1. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    I've been really depressed, so I've been drinking more, even tho I know it's a depressant, after a few everything is numb, and I can forget for a minute the hurt. Anyway, I know I need to watch out for alcohol, I have a very addictive personality, and I'm drinking for the wrong reasons a lot lately. Yesterday I was having a good day, might even be tempted to say GREAT day. I was kinda hyper, and was having trouble winding down a little, took my medicine nice and early so it had time to wind me down...Even though I had told myself the whole day that I should skip a drink tonight, I'm feeling good and don't need it, I still ended up having one, cause I was feeling so hyper, and it melows me out. If i'd just given my medicine time to work I wouldn't need it...but it just seemed habit....It scares me...so this weekend I'm going to do my best to go alcohol free, a friend is having her bday and wants to go out to the club, i'll volunteer to be dd, that way I know I wont' drink there. Of course worrying about getting addicted to klonopin the dr gave mpe is a whole other worry about getting addicted to, but it helps...

    anyway, sorry for the rant, just trying to talk myself through this...
  2. justgettinby

    justgettinby Well-Known Member

    I understand how you're feeling. Even though we know that alcohol isn't the best way, and it won't fix anything, it seems worth it if it makes the hurt go away, even for a little bit. It makes you forget why you are so unhappy, if only for an hour or two. Because it becomes unbearable otherwise. Even as I type this I'm having a drink. Not for any good reason, just because it's become habit. And I'll probably have a Xanax to knock me out before I go to sleep too. I'm not sure how to stop the habit. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if we weren't drinking alone. Or if we passed the time doing something like talking to a friend. I don't know, honestly.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    keep writing hun, it will help you :hug:
  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My Pdoc took me off ativan and put me on a new drug called Campral, suppposed to help kill the cravings for alcohol, plus has some calming effects. Maybe that would help. ask your doctor about it.
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