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Feels like im not supposed to be a part of this life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Nov 26, 2008.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Its been like 3 months now with no depression.
    Recently i start lookin for a job, and it feels like everything is overwelming
    and so difficult for me, and its not like im lazy, its just that everything is so
    unatural for me that it feels like that im not supposed to do it.
    I feel like my long lasting ideas about my faith is back.
    And thay reminding me that this life is not for me
    and when im saying it its like im not sad or anything, its like i accepted it
    but too afraid to finish it, i live with my parents and i feel ashame becouse of that.
    I am unable to work, and have no education, i am physicly weak and its
    like i was born to absorve this life and then to finish it, just to let go of it.
    But i am so scared, what if i am wrong?
    I beliave that there is life after death, and that we choose when and where to born, i wounder sometimes why
    i choosed this life, maybe i wanted to expiriance this era and i found it not so good for me?

    Im saying this words and i am not sad, only dissapointed of my life and faith
    i feel tired and i am too scared to act to finish it all, im not even sure if i have to finish it all or to keep living, i dont know.
    This is a pro life site, so you all will probbly say i must live no metter what.
    But like in this movie "the time mashine" i want to ask "WHAT IF?"
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You're just starting to look for a job aren't you? Don't be scared off yet. It can feel really hard. Just hang in there :hug:
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I already found a job but i dont like it there, now im quiting it and im woundering what shal i do next, it is so difficult for me and no one supports me or undarstand how difficult it is for me :(
    My parent helping me to find a job but thay dont support me at all.
  4. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Summer there seems to be a gap betweeen you and your parents. If verbal communication is absent perhaps you could try writing them a letter and put in words how you feel? Dont give up!

    be well and stay safe
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Just don't give up summer.rain. You're making progress, but the road may have its difficult moments. Getting a new job can be overwealming, but you have to hang in there. It gets better eventually. :hug:
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