Its been like 3 months now with no depression. Recently i start lookin for a job, and it feels like everything is overwelming and so difficult for me, and its not like im lazy, its just that everything is so unatural for me that it feels like that im not supposed to do it. I feel like my long lasting ideas about my faith is back. And thay reminding me that this life is not for me and when im saying it its like im not sad or anything, its like i accepted it but too afraid to finish it, i live with my parents and i feel ashame becouse of that. I am unable to work, and have no education, i am physicly weak and its like i was born to absorve this life and then to finish it, just to let go of it. But i am so scared, what if i am wrong? I beliave that there is life after death, and that we choose when and where to born, i wounder sometimes why i choosed this life, maybe i wanted to expiriance this era and i found it not so good for me? Im saying this words and i am not sad, only dissapointed of my life and faith i feel tired and i am too scared to act to finish it all, im not even sure if i have to finish it all or to keep living, i dont know. This is a pro life site, so you all will probbly say i must live no metter what. But like in this movie "the time mashine" i want to ask "WHAT IF?"