feigning symptoms / absorbing acusations of crazines

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by self-destructing tape, Jun 2, 2009.

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  1. people have caled me crazy just by the unusual ways i behave in various setings and i m sure many have thought i have a couple of screws loose , one of my close friends in particular has repeatedly said he thinks i am actualy insane although i know from introspection on my part that we just have diferent personalities and ways of seeing the world . i have always interpreted my behaviour to be derived from a deep soul-searching and questioning of my place in the world .

    because of often being caled a nut or loopy , even if said in a playful maner (for i am very receptive to be being playful in return about the subject ) i have been very interested in mental ilneses and abnormal psychology etc and , now i have awarenes of such things i identify various symptoms within myself and am unsure if i am just taking this persona on as another role that my social ties have been coercing me into acepting and whether i have been complying subconsciously . these past couple of months have seen a surfacing of quite eratic oposites of emotion and energy levels , self harming etc . the best i can explain is that it feels like a fuse has blown in my delicate brain circuitry .

    of course teling myself i am feigning symptoms doesn t make me feel very good . to ad there is a part of me that has been formaly diagnosed as an 'abnormality' in me in the past , tourete s syndrome and i understand it has high comorbity with other things but worse , my belief that the human mind can be remarkable in its variety and versitality leads me to think that mental disorders simply do not exist , in turn invalidating myself further .

    i suspect i m just a litle anxious and have over thought the subject . nevertheles interested in your thoughts on this , feigning symptoms vs real symptoms , absorbing acusations of crazines from people , becoming loopier as a result etc . i understand that a human s desire to be acepted no mater what is a powerful one . ironicaly it makes me feel even more 'nuts' to disregard public opinion and do my own thaaang .

    peace and love my felow planetary travelers of the mind ! :hiding::weee:
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...I believe that the narratives created in one's psychological world are as real as all other perceptions...also, we are who we are and not our diagnoses...I have seen ppl with the most horrific dx do the most remarkable things...to be a true malinger one must be getting secondary gains from the illness, and even in that context, there is a problem...the most difficult task we have is to be who we are, feeling crazy, at times, cracking under pressure, but being true to our 'inner self'...big hugs, J
  3. true true

    true true . it doesn t mater what the diagnoses are if you can stil bring out the goods on a plater . i m stil producing them !! it s probably best for me if i just focus on that job (waiter for humanity :wheelchair: the whelchair s my disabling thoughts lol ).... love your lao- tzu quote by the way . peace:eek:ld:
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