fell back into old habits

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by planechaser, Sep 25, 2009.

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  1. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    i fell back into my old habits earlier. now i have to hide the cuts AGAIN!! i told people but they ignored me. that really ticked me off and made me want to selfharm even more. so i did. now i have to hide it so others wont get upset with me. thought i overcame the habit but i guess not. i have a feeling that it will continue to happen. of course its an addiction. im worried about myself now. i knew things were going down hill, fast, and didnt do anything about it until too late. now im even more afraid to say something. but on the other hand im afraid it will take me back a few steps and will mess everything up for me. i dont know what to do:unsure:
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think it would be wise to get some kind of help. Even if you talk to your GP see if you can get something a new councillor new meds Don't wait until it get worst get some help now okay.
     
  3. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    i woke up after a few hours of sleep and i feel worse now. i recieved a concerned text from a worker of mine but havent replied yet. im not sure what i want to say..more afraid of what will happen if i say something. i dont want her to judge me and think that maybe i should go to the hospital because i dont want to nor do i need to go. not at this point. im very frustrated with myself and think that i may slip up again
     
  4. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    i just wish that the people i know wouldnt ignore me. my friends all tell me ive come so far that it would be dumb to get back into those habits. well i already have, multiple times. but yet they still dont say anything. beginning to think they are not my real friends. but without them i wouldnt have anybody. i wish i could dissapear for awhile. just go and not come back until things have settled down within myself. but i cant. people will wonder and im sure the police would be after me in a heartbeat. cant take that risk. but they worry when im not around but dont worry when im hurting myself?? what the heck!?!? i wish i could give this up, but i cant. its slice after slice and cant control it
     
  5. planechaser

    planechaser Well-Known Member

    i want to crawl into a hole and never come out. then maybe, just maybe, someone will listen to me. i have been ignored all day by my so called friends. I feel all alone and worthless. my family wont even talk to me. what do i have to do so people will realize i am serious. attempt suicide again for crying out loud. ive been cooped up in my apartment for three days now and nobody really seems to care. this is messed up. im messed up. this isnt going to end, is it?
     
  6. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    i fell bk into my old ways too tonight, i faught the urge for 5 hours, but ive failed, hope things r improving for u :) pm if u need to talk :)
     
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