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felt terribly awful..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by 2cents, Apr 26, 2008.

  1. 2cents

    2cents Well-Known Member

    i did my first attempt few hours back, since i'm still here indicate that it failed, i know where it went wrong. now i felt really awful, dizzy, the stomach seems to be stressed out. i'm not sure what lies ahead...
  2. 2cents

    2cents Well-Known Member

    just an update, i'm feeling much better now. it helps to vent out. Thanks suzy bee for your concern, really appreciate it!
  3. blue shoes

    blue shoes Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that you attempted, but glad to hear that you failed and that you are feeling better. :hug:
  4. 2cents

    2cents Well-Known Member

    its kind of a phenomena, once i tasted the tip of death there seems to be no turning back. Since the day i realized that i became suicidal the whole things started to look different, it as if put on a sunglasses
    What I thought I knew now seems strange, the thought of death that before caused a fear now become a comforter, the goal and dreams no longer important, the mind start open up to a range of new ideas and perspectives, being creative.
    I took enough courage which I never did before to end it, it didn’t work out just as I expected when calculating the effectiveness but still went for it hoping that it will turned out against my analysis. One lead to another, perhaps till it end
    How do I feel? not sure… feeling is such an enigma in itself. i am an enigma to myself :dry:
    why am i resisting knowing that i have a way to stop all of this
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 28, 2008
  5. 2cents

    2cents Well-Known Member

    i have come up with the decision, it feel kind of awkward living day by day towards the final day