Ffs

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, May 7, 2013.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Am so triggered. V v sad and wanting not to be here or deal with this. Sorry but don't know where else to unload. Feel the strong need to SH to cope but I can't right now. Things were okay for two days. That's it. So disappointed with myself.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Did something happen that triggered you? :hug:
     
  3. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Oh Hun it sucks I am so sorry you're hurting. Its not easy but you're sticking it out & that counts for something doesn't it? Please don't be so hard on yourself, one hour & one minute at a time... you are not alone you have so many here who care - sending huge hug, much caring & all the cyber chocolate this net can carry... please keep talking ok?
     
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Yeah...am in a triggering location. Another cemetery visit today. Tried to shake it off by going to beach...is stormy out there. Instead of helping, I wanted to walk into the rough sea. Rediculous...eh?
     
  5. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Not rediculous at all... We have all had those kinds of thoughts, you didnt & I for one am so glad you didnt You are awesome Missy you are still putting one foot in front of the other & sometimes thats all we can do while we wait for our heart to heal some... Please be kind to yourself ok?
     
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    No matter how hard things will be, you always face them, you never back down Mo, you are so strong. This feeling will pass.
     
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I don't feel strong.

    I'm selfishly waiting for one person to ask me here how I'm doing. It's logically a waste of my energy, but I hope I suppose. Instead it's been the same...... comments about my appearance, specific things that hurt. Always the same. Always.

    So I'm doing what I've always done.....nod and smile and appear like all is fine. I tried telling them weeks ago what was really going on. That landed on deaf ears.

    Yes, I'm whining.

    Being here this time is vv difficult. More than previously. And I'm yet again tired. Of the pretense. Of the bs. Of being this way. And mostly of just being.
     
  8. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Dear Mo, I wish today was lighter, brighter for you. You are doing your best and can be proud of yourself. I too am very glad you stayed out of the waves. I'm proud of you and the good choices you've made. You are AWESOME my friend. :hug:

     
  9. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    I don't think it's selfish to long for special people (those dear to us) to show an interest, to be vulnerable enough to venture beyond the surface. I think that shows a depth of caring and understanding one treasures in their friend(s). I know it's not the same, and probably obvious and lame that I failed to ask. Even so, how are you doing now Mo? Has any of the darkness lifted from today? ♥
     
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm sorry that you are feeling triggered and that people aren't being very kind to you...I hope that things will start to get better soon :hug:
     
  11. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you so much, everyone.

    Today is more emotional than yesterday. V v anxious. Realized I forgot to take meds last night but I can't do so now as need to be with it as someone coming. I just wish I could hop into bed and shut out the stuff and the people. I must be off my rocker.