fiancé's passing...

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by rwillson, Apr 12, 2008.

  1. rwillson

    rwillson Well-Known Member

    it is coming up on the seventh anniversary to my fiancé's passing away. why is it that everybody says it get better with time, it is such a lie. each year has progressively gotten harder, i do all i can to move on, to move my life in a productive direction but it just hurts more. over the years i have learned much, the obvious like living in the past does no good but at the same time i have found it is much easier, less painful to be alone, even the meaningless worsens things...

  2. Smythe

    Smythe Well-Known Member

    I can relate to that pretty well.

    I don't know what else to say, except I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you find some good way to move away from the pain.
    wish I could be of more help somehow.
  3. rwillson

    rwillson Well-Known Member

    unfortunately the best memories hurt the most...

  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It sounds like you still have not completed the grieving process over the loss of your fiancee. The pain never goes away completely, but once you have moved through the process and begun to accept things, it does become more manageable. Some people move through grief quickly while others take a great deal of time. Did you ever attend any grief counseling or go to any support groups? Sometimes this can be helpful. I am sorry for your loss. :hug:
  5. jipjoe

    jipjoe Member

    I know how you feel my friend. The loss of my father was 22 years ago and I still feel pain from time to time. I am now in the process of scanning in all of the family pictures and the memories are flooding back. Such good times which led to bad as I grew up and became a real ass of a son to my parents-both of which have passed.
    My best friend past 12 years ago and I am ill over that as well. I know about 3 others that have passed that were close to me.

    The grieving will never go away-never. It will always be a part of your life as it should along with those painful but great memories of her. She is fortunate to have had a partner such as yourself that truly did care of her that you do and I feel that she would not want you to have gone through so much pain over the past 7 years. I know it is easy to say and I try to convince myself of this also.

    This thing called life is so tough at times.
    Take care
  6. Victori@

    Victori@ Well-Known Member

    I hope that one day in the future, we never get sad or mad of any kind of painful emotion when somebody passes away~ I hope we can all Know that we will be together again. somewhere! heaven, hell, whatever you wanna call it! My boyfriend in highshool took his own life, 2 days after I ended our relationship. The pain I felt was so intoxicating it made me sick. Untill on night about a year after he passed, I asked him to visit me while I was asleep. I finally saw him again in my dreams. We were at our old school, the clouds were grey and dark blue and the grass on the football field was so green. The air was so cool but it never gave me a chill, it was more refreshing, than any pool I have ever swam in. He walked up to me and held my hands in his. He looked into my eyes and he told me with a smile on his face 'Where I am is so beautiful, It's more beautiful than anything I have seen in my life, I am so happy to be here.' I was so confused and all these thoughs and emotions were ripping through my body. All the things I wanted to say to him. I just looked back at him and smiled and wraped his arms around me. After that night I have never been sad about his death. I have never thought about his death and cried. I have seen him many other nights since then. It is so peacefull.

    Anyway I hope That you wont feel this pain anymore, the pain will only go away if you want it to. Your holding onto something that you need to let go of. I let go and something inside changed, it feels good now!

    I hope i didn't ramble on to much! I never ever do things like this but I just started writing and it didn't stop!!

    I hope I could make you feel a liittle lighter today than you were yesterday!!

  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: Im here if you need to talk
  8. Mainax

    Mainax Active Member

    I really like that story, i often have dreams where the person i love comes to me and tells me they love me and suddenly everything feels right. And i cannot even begin to explain it, but i wake up with this AMAZING feeling of what can only be described as euphoria, Pure happiness,before reality hits me and i remember how life really is and how that is only a dream..