Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by liveinhope, Jul 2, 2007.

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  1. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I keep telling myself that i must keep fighting these thoughts of ending my life that maybe one day i will wake up and be rewarded for continuing the fight by just feeling a little better i dont think i will ever feel completely happy ever again to much has happened and there has been to much heartache i feel i only have a small part of my heart left and thats the part that keeps pumping the blood round this worthless body and keeps me breathing the rest of it has over the last few years been ripped from my chest and torn into tiny pieces far to many to ever put back together

    Its a real struggle
  2. kaceybabe

    kaceybabe Member

    i know this feeling!
    just when you think 'things cant get any worse' they do and ur asking urself ... how much more can i take? you feel like giving up but that one little bit of ur heart thats pumping ur blood round ur body, is the little piece that will keep you going? sometimes u wish it would just shatter completely and then other times ur thankful for just that little bit of hope! :sad:
  3. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your reply u sound as though u to have been there there is a fine line between hope and dispair dont you think? which do u go with?
    and for how long do u try?

    I hope lifes giving u a little break the moment and thanks again
  4. kaceybabe

    kaceybabe Member

    yeah its a very fine line and its a nightmare when ur edging over the hope ever so slightly! ... i think you have to carry on for the hope, even tho at times thats easier said than done i know! ... i ask myself the same questions everyday 'how long do i keep trying for, when do i say enough is enough'

    your very welcome for the reply hun i just hope it helped a little ... even if its just knowing there are people out there who feel the same and know what your going thro.

    have you tried writing ur feelings down into words ... sometimes in the future you read back on them and thing 'damn how did i feel that bad' its a good place to release things *on paper*

    or drawing ... because u lose ur mind totally in it.

    the motivations for these things can be very hard at times ... but anything is worth a try :) x
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2007
  5. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    It does help to know others understand though im sorry to think other people feel like this its god dam awful
  6. kaceybabe

    kaceybabe Member

    your right it is ... and the most annoying thing is, its not always us we have to blame for the way we feel. but we do anyway because we have always been the ones to get blamed for everything else in our lives ... it becomes so natural to take it upon our shoulders.

    there is so many people out there is this world and yet we can all still feel so lonely. why is that?

    and i always seem to think that no1 feels exactly the sameway as i do? do you ever get that?

    i wouldnt wish a feeling like this upon my enermys ... even tho im my own worst enermy :(
  7. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Until joining SF i firmly believed nobody could possibly feel like this but sadly they do, one possitive thing about that is that they can truely understand. I have often infact daily sat around people that i know and care about and yet i still feel alone cacooned in this isolated and sometimes frightening place where feelings can be stronger that rationao thoughts
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