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Fighting a physical illness when your mental illness seem to be sabotaging that?

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Scum

Well-Known Member
#1
I know I shouldn't post, so I'm sorry for that, I'm just not sure what to do.

I have a physical problem at the moment for that could kill me (seriously, very physically depleted right now). I'm trying very hard to fight it.

However, with my mental health problems being as they are, and living with constant suicide ideation (at very best) and needing to know it's a choice to live, I'm struggling.

My mental health seems to be preventing me from fighting my physical health, so my vague mental health stability is wobbly, but I'm getting iller so feeling physically worse which makes me feel mentally worse, but when I try and fight, I end up feeling even worse. It's a vicious cycle, but I really want to try to fight this. I guess I need to, but if I fight as hard as I should, I run the very real risk of killing myself anyway through mental health problems which defeats the object. I've tried so hard to fight my mental health problems and this is really knocking everything.

does anyone have any advice? Or any similar circumstances that they have been through?

Sorry.
 

WildCherry

Owner Emeritus
#2
:hug: You don't have to apologize for posting, it's OK and I'm glad you posted!

I wish I had some advice. Just want you to know I'm here, and I'll do whatever I can to help you fight this, or to support you through it.
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#3
Last year at this time, I was going through something very similar...so as not to highjack your thread, I will make the description brief: I stopped walking and was dx with a degenerative neuopathology, with prob no known cure...nice!?! At the time, I was very despondant about something else, and had no will to fight...I truly felt I was doomed...I especially felt that I might as well take the bus, so to say, because I could not have a meaningful life as a 'cripple' (please understand I am not being unkind, but I felt so broken, that I am choosing to use that word)...I called out to anyone I knew had a strong sense of faith and/or compassion, told them that I feared that I had lost my faith and will to live, and please help me...I truly did not want to die...I wanted my disability to die and to be who I was before...find people to suport you and to provide you with comfort and strength..and let us be there for you...J
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#4
Thanks.

It's all intertwined with my mental health. Years ago I used to prize being severely anaemic and it was a way to be nearly dead but not quite.

Now, I'm nearly as severely anaemic now and I'm supposed to fight it to get better (I haven't made myself anaemic- I'm having mega stomach problems) but all I want to do is retreat into the anaemia and enjoy it.

I have so many creatures depending on me though, I can't do that.

But I tried to fight it, and ended up nearly ODing on a rather hefty amount of 'stuff', due to the stress and distress of it all.

I have a hospital appointment next week and I'm determined to do that and have the necessary cameras and tests and stuff, but I can't find a way to safely tackle the anaemia. Yet, all I'm doing at the moment is lying around unless I have to move. I feel like complete shit- they want me in hospital to transfuse me but they know I'm not comfortable with that.
 
#5
Not often im lost for words, but i am here.
Guess you have to do as that thread says...... Hold on. You know the rest.
I want you to know that i felt that, so just as you know, someone certainly did.
Maybe read "Tuesdays with Morrie", gives a thought about things i guess.
All i can offer, but i so wish you healing and a future.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Staff member
ADMIN
#6
Can they give you iron injections, hun? Not transfusions of blood, just "injections" of iron?

Thinking of you and hoping you feel well soon. :hug:
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#7
Thanks guys :)

Having the injections was something I asked about before my mind went nuts (I can't take the iron tablets because they mess my stomach). On a practical level, the doc said the injections can have exactly the same side effects as the tablets- which I can't deal with right now, but on a mental note, it still comes down to tackling the anaemia. My mind won't let me do it safely. I don't know how to do it safely.
 
#8
So, gotta ask ( am 27 years veggie and strong thought on meds)
Have you tried the "natural" meds, not they saying they will work, but they might...
Have thought, if mankind cut back on chemical meds and put the most powerful multi-nationals on earth out of business, what would happen?
I could go into this, but not the thread to do so.
Anyways, if you haven't had a look, check it out, with open ears.
And ditto last post of mine.


Edit; Because like i say, im lost for words, so why not?
 
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Jenny

Staff Alumni
#9
Scum! (I still have problems calling you that!!). I'm sorry I have no words of wisdom or anything but just wanted to say HI and I'm SO glad to see you! Please don't feel you need to apologise for posting, I haven't been around here for quite a few months, in fact nearly 2 years but came back this weekend and have been lured back since.. tis really good to 'see' you and really really hope you'll take good care of yourself. Jenny xxx
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#10
Hi Jenny, saw you about and thought it was good to see you too :) I hope you're ok. x

Thanks me, myself and I. Eating iron rich foods seems to be something that I can manage so have been eating as much as I can (whilst also eating carbs because they sometimes give me some energy and ability to move). They won't be enough to bring my levels back up though (they really are dire) and because of the state of my stomach, I'm probably not absorbing as much as I should be of them either, which is why they wanted to do something more drastic.

This all sounds so negative, but I'm trying so hard, I'm just failing.
 
#11
So are you getting your iron from meat?
Because if you are, your body is having to break it down, like kinda "work" at it, when if you take iron in purely veggie way, its well, more direct and pure, damn sound like a drug dealer.
Not veggie rights thoughts, more science i suppose.
But Scum( yeah kinda wrong user, but oh so fab) i mean holistic meds, things that are organic, our bodies are organic too, so i gets that.
I suppose its giving everything a go, not giving up because you know can get better, be it luck, cure or self love.
Will shut up as going on and wish you tons of hope.
 

Kaos General

Well-Known Member
#12
Funnily enough im having the exact same problems as you are at the moment, but mine are caused by interferon, not too sure what to do about it either.
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#14
No, not meat. I don't eat much meat. I haven't been able to eat much of anything, but have really been trying with iron rich veg. Broccoli in particular seems to slide nicely down my throat so have been eating a fair whack of that.

Sorry to hear that Angerfist. You have my sympathies- it's a tough one.
 
#15
A wise man I barely knew (truly one of my angels), visited me when I was in a nursing home (last Sept) and asked me, "what would you tell a good friend to do?" when I was questioning whether I should discharge myself from that hell...I will ask you the same question...J
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#16
I guess maybe I would try and understand where someone was coming from, and then help them to find the safest way possible to proceed.
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#18
I don't know. If him/her had no mental health back up or support then going to hospital could be exceptionally risky on release. But, I would offer to go with them and stay with them if they wanted to go. I wouldn't let them go through it alone. I guess I would try and support them to make the best choices possible but wouldn't tell them what to do.
 

Scum

Well-Known Member
#19
I think I'm going to rearrange my hospital appointment.

By completey fluke, my brother got a letter today saying he will be having the same procedure, at a different hospital, on the same day. His was supposed to be tomorrow. (he has a diagnosis, I'm looking for mine but our problems are pretty similar).

I'm sorry, I don't have any one to talk this through with. It's thrown me. We have two parents. One who will be at work that day, one who doesn't have a great relationship with my brother, so I can rearrange mine so that my brother can get his, can have it sorted, can hopefully go back to uni doing better It doesn't matter much if mine is delayed, it's not going to stop me feeling as shit as I do.
 
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