Fighting flashbacks

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by TBear, Jun 3, 2011.

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  1. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Seems like this is always a fight - things get stirred up, triggers

    My new therapist wants me to try to contain - keep grounded...

    Re-experiencng is re-traumatizing; if I can possibly keep the images at bay - try to distract.... examine and identify - tolerate the feelings - internal compassion....

    Last therapist used to encourage me to see what was there - but I was in a constant state of crisis... now I feel the images - see them - the experiences are just under the surface - ready to burst forth - leaving me so anxious, scared and sad - but certainly more stable, albeit miserable

    There is so much that if I start to go with it - then I can be devastated for days; the trauma was so pervasive, ongoing and horrific....

    I am emotionally drained and don't know how much longer I can hang on..... I've been told that taking it slower now will be faster in the long run - develop strength that will enable me to tolerate.... Hurts - so confused feeling
     
  2. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    TBear - my heart goes out to you.

    I've been struggling so bad the last week or so, triggered so much and not knowing what way is up, kind-of feeling.

    It is confusing - isn't it? But hopefully you have developed a healthy therapeutic relationship with your therapist to trust them.

    I am still coming up with a good mantra, for use of a better word, that I can repeat over when things start to pop up. The hardest thing for me is dealing with the trigger in a way. Its a difficult one to control but I have to try as I really can't deal or handle the flashbacks too well. I'm trying, really trying.

    I'm sorry this is such a rough time for you. Have patience with yourself, believe in yourself that you will get through this. It will take time, but you will get there. Believe that.

    :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 3, 2011
  3. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Hi hun :hug: i really dont understand how this kind of therapy works but i do hope that it eventually works for you maybe keeping on posing about it might help . goodluck and big hugs xxx
     
  4. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    From what I have read and this therapist has said.... when the trauma, violations and abuse start at such a young age and go on for years.... it can't be handled the same way as traumas that happen after the personality has had a chance to form.....

    There is no one incident to process - There is an entire childhood...an entire rotten marriage... an entire way of reacting...

    Seems impossible - but the impossible just takes longer....

    So sorry you are going thru this stuff - flashbacks, although I understand them, are so hard to deal with....

    The best I can do is to remind myself - I am safe now - this is a different time -I am not a child/ helpless.... then do something to ground myself with my body to bring me back - a pretty smell/ bare feet on the floor/ push hard on a wall - feel something - even holding a peice of ice.....

    Thanks for the encouragement..... :hug: :sad:
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Yes, nothing is impossible - as you said it will just take a little longer.

    I'm working on grounding, fingers crossed the last couple of days have been better.

    Take care of yourself TBear. :hug:
     
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