For the past month im fighting to go back to school and to work on completeing my education, yet again and again i keep falling and then standing back up again and then falling again. I can see how people do thair job, thay helping me, even though not in a very freandly way (go there, do this, wait for 1 moth, do that) so im going, im doing, im waiting, im fighting, and im not even at school yet. 1 September have come and gone and im still here, at home, trying to figure out what im doing with myself. My dad pushing me to act and to fight in his wicked way (it makes me be even more depressed), but i do, im trying. But then sometimes i stop and think, what the point? So ill go back to school to finish the damn 12 years and to get the damn papers, then i will go to collage (or at least i hope i will), ill get a nice education, and then what? ill find myself a job? what the point? so ill find myself a job.. then what? I see people around me, i live in Odessa where there is thi huge mix of SUPER rich people and poor people, you can see this old USSR cars and right behind them a limo or a Hamvi limo or a corvate or audi... or there is this younger rich guys with Mitsubishi LancerX\Mustang racing you can even hear how thay use Nitro sometimes... When i look at them i think to myself, thaydidnt done shit for all this money most of them have less education the i do, this world is fucken brocken. What the point to spend years and years of my life just so that when ill be 35 ill have a nice house and a nice car? and then ill get lonley and start lookin for a wife, and then ill have kids, and then all the years i spent on education and so that ill have a good job, all will go for my kids. and then ill be 60 years old playin golf... like WTF? I dot want it!!! its not what makes me happy!! What will make me happy is NOT BEEIN THE PART OF THIS WORLD i dont want to be a part of it and when it will happen i will be happy and whats wrong with it? its like if i dont want to live in 1 country, so im flying to another country right? Its a shame we no longer live in the ear where people could just pick uo sword and figt thair way to glory, like vikings, living simple life full of glory and then when thay die, thay die on the battlefield just like each and every singel one should, to die in glory. And the glory is not about who you die for, but how you die and how many countryis you captuerd before that. Alexander the great was not much older then i am when he died but look what he had? he had the most powerfull empire and his name will be remembered forever!